Tag Archives: vacation

A new little twist….

30 Jul

Life has a way of keeping you on your toes. I just got back from a week long visit with Tom and I have a lot of writing I want to do. Before I left my manager was on vacation so I has to run the branch.  My leadership group organised a fun filled week of games for the office that I had to prep for and was gone during the game week itself.  I cleaned the house before I left with the exception of putting all the laundry away (folded it though), changed the oil on my car and paid the first of many months of my Dad’s space rent.  On top of that my big little guy turned five and we had an Aquabats Pool party for him at my Mom’s.

Before I left for my trip I also had a surprise visitor one night while Dick was out “working”.  My neighbor Olaf from the Netherlands.  He brought over half a bottle of Sailor Jerry rum and we drank and talked.  He knows Dick’s side of the story but has not yet heard mine.  He told me he sees Dick as a loving attentive father when he is with him and the boys.  I let him know about the other stuff.  The house work, money problems, the way he’ll demean me and not discuss things.  Olaf told me he sees that from Dick too.  That the way my house is kept and my cars are left dirty is appalling with a stay at home Dad at home.  That Olaf’s pride in his work as a stay at home Dad would not let him leave that burden to his wife and that he’s told Dick he should do better.

We talked about his first marriage.  It towards the end was an open marriage.  Her anorexia and lack of energy that resulted combined with his burn out from over working took the marriage down.  They are still the best of friends.  He was even to be the best man in her wedding but couldn’t attend due to the birth of his son.  He told me about his father a musician and masseuse.  At some point he offered to rub my feet.  He was very good and he started to tell me about how he has a crush on me.  From the moment he saw me he was enchanted by me.  That I do deserve better and he hopes Dick can grow and become what I need.  We also talked about his D/s interests, that he’s taken classes on knots and how to restrain.  He told me about his fantasies about taking his flogger to my backside and having me bound waiting for his desires.  Stories about the sex clubs he’s visited.  Nude plays and on line BDSM.  I let him know some about my interest too.  The night flew by and before I knew it he had hopped up to go home.

He started to text me more.  He asked we meet in the night and we did.  Continuing the conversation and giving in to our curiosity and kissing.  His soft lips and hungry mouth were just as I expected.  He seems to exude sexuality.  His hands caressed my breasts as I squeezed his ass.  We discussed that this must not become an affair.  I let him know I would not step beyond his lead.  He has a wife and young child that as far as I know he has no intention of leaving.  I was interested him for good company and some fun. A FWB situation.  I told him about Tom.  That I love Tom and we are trying to tell if in a few years this might be something that would work in the real world.  He understood.

I also discussed this with Tom.  He seemed concerned and I sensed some trepidation in his voice as he talked about it with me.  He worried about Dick finding out.  Olaf’s wife finding out.  He also seemed concerned that I was considering sex but wasn’t planning on having him tested.  I let him know I also planned on protection.  I’m not sure where this will go but I am interested and also concerned about Tom’s heart.  It’s an interesting twist.  One I’d almost ruled out.  It will also help the discussion with Tom about my dating and if we have a future together keeping our relationship open enough to experience other people both together and separately.

Last Caress….

24 Jun

When we got back to the hotel following our afternoon out and about.  Tom mentions to me when he was planning on leaving.  Eight AM.  I tried not to cry.  I held it for a long while but the moisture got to be too much for my eyes to hold and the first tear fell.  I thought I could keep it from him but they came and I told him why that I just hate to see him go.  I know I can’t keep him but I thought we’d have more time.  He’s got a ten hour drive and will loose an hour.  He and his wife have plans to drive out seven hours the next day to catch a concert.  I understand why.

He holds me and cheers me up.  We go for a swim.  Hugging and playing in the water.  I so wish we could fuck weightless but too risky with the managers window right by the pool.  Afterwards we go up and play some more.

  I start by giving him a slow deep blowjob.  I start playing with his balls. Taking a que from one of my favorite bloggers I start to scratch his taint a little until I find myself playing with his arsehole.  I think what the fuck and start to lick lower and lower until my tongue flicks the rim.  He sqirms a little but not in a bad way.  I give a little more attention down there as he takes his shaft in hand.  I try to work the area with my finger a little but to my surprise it’s really hard to get a finger in there.  I go back to a little rimming and ball sucking and he’s giving me deep moans approval.  After a little more time he pushes me back and gets on his knees on the bed and fucks my mouth like the dirty girl I am.  Then instructs me to get bend over and let him take me.  He gives me what I want and fucks me hard and cums inside of me.  Boy I love that.  Feeling oh so wonderfully dirty and not having cum myself I tell him to finger my cum soaked pussy.  As he plays with me he tells me how it feels, my swollen pussy slick with is juices.  He is so good with his hands and rather quickly gives me an amazing orgasm.  We kiss and cuddle a little longer before showering up and getting ready for the night.    

We drive out to a brewery and have dinner.  The waitress is super cute and I tell him so.  Chat her up a little.  Her daughter Danika had just graduated 6th grade and she’s been weepy all day with her little girl growing up so fast.  It was sweet.  Tom looks at me and holds my hands and says I can’t believe he is going to let you go.  I look at him confused and he says you’re so amazing and he’s going to loose you and all he had to do was take care of you.  Fucking made me cry again.  Run to the bathroom.  Quick recovery.  We have a great little dinner together.  I had an awesome pomegranate cider so freaking good!  That night the Giants were playing and Cain threw his perfect game.  I was a little engaged in the game, he’s not a sports fan but told me when he was a kid he knew all the stats and was really into it.  The thing that changed his focus was girls.  He liked seeing me enjoy the game. 

We checked out one of the bars the Old Town bartender recommended.  It was a gay bar and the little guy behind the bar was fabulous.  He didn’t seem to like the look of us at first but I paid him a compliment and he was my buddy.  Poured me a nice stiff drink with extra cherries.  I really wanted to go out with Tom and meet chicks but this was not the place.  However the table next to us had three cute fellas and one beautiful woman with a flowy shirt that was open exposing her perfectly engineered rack.  I had a hard time not looking but didn’t know how to interject myself into their conversation so I just stuck with Tom.  We checked out one other bar recommended by the bartender and it was a LOUD dance club with a cover.  Not what I was feeling up to that night.  We headed back early.

Back in bed we were enjoying our last night together and decided to let AFF in on the fun again.  We had some of the same viewers come back and say nice things.  We’d kiss and he’d slowly show off  a little of my body at a time.  My favorite part was when I was total naked laying on my back head towards the camera and he went down on me….I looked up into the screen and all I could see was my face looking at everyone, my boobs rising up, my legs behind that and his head in between….I so wish I had a picture.  We ended it a little earlier this time and held each other tight not knowing when we’d have a night together again.  Sleep came for me quick and before I knew it morning had come and I still didn’t want to let him go.

Motorcars and Old Town bars….

23 Jun

The next morning waking up together was wonderful.  Kissing and fooling arround.  Cuddling and caressing.  How I’ve missed those things.  After a while I was hungry so I went down and got breakfast for us both from the hotel buffet.  He’s not a breakfast guy but I love breakfast, he was kinda enough to eat with me even though it was less than awesome.  We got showered and dressed and set out early on a long walk to the automotive history museum. 

The walk was long and there was very little shade.  The navigation program on my phone kept changing it’s mind but it gave us even more reasons to stop and kiss along the way.  I loved grabbing his but as we walked along and I he really liked it too.  I know I’m very different than what he has at home so it’s fun to make him feel so special in a way he doesn’t normally.  It’s so nice to be with someone and be completely comfortable to want to accept their embrace and affection.  I can feel myself getting used to it and I know it’s dangerous.

We finally reach our destination hot and sun baked.  The place is a HUGE garage no AC but some swamp coolers and fans.  I love old cars and so does he.  There is some amazing stuff we can see right off the bat.  It starts with the horseless carages from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.  They are almost unreal they are so cool.  I so wanted to hop in one their seats look like antique sofas.  He’s telling me about how they work.  Pointing out the more interesting details of them.  Here and there I find myself in front of a swamp cooler and when he sees me I pull up my shirt to give him a little peek, with the museum practically empty it felt safe enough.  We move on to the cars from the 1950’s and that is where we’re looking more at the details.  The original prices $2,500 or $4,800 for an old Cadi.  We’re talking motors or more like I’m getting info from him and asking questions.

They had a real Shelby Cobra!  Two of them to be exact.  To you gear heads out there you know when you see one it’s almost always a fiberglass kit remake.  This one was honest to goodness alumium body orignal.  It was a sight to behold.  I liked the old 1960’s muscle and we came across one of the original Hemi’s I realized I know you want a Hemi in your Mopar but I didn’t know why they were so awesome.  I asked and of course he knew.  He explained to me the details of how it worked and as I’m looking at him all stary eyed and asking questions he smiles and says you really care don’t you.  Well duh?  Why else would I ask?  It was so cute and earned me another kiss and a little butt squeeze.  There were cars from random famous people.  It was just a fun trip, so glad I found it and took him there.

We walked back to Old Town and we were looking for a place to eat when I see this cute little bartender in a Sports Bar.  He is shocked at how quick I spotted her and says lets sit at the bar and eat here.  I tried to open some conversation.  She had this cute orange hair and pretty green eyes.  She looked like she would be fun to hang out with and she had a fun Jackalope tattoo with a cute carrot next to it.  Charming.  We kept a pleasant conversation.  When another regular patron came in she mentioned to him that her and her boyfriend got a dog.  My hopes of a date fell flat but we kept chatting anyway.  I asked her a bit about the local scene and she gave us a few bars to check out.  Tom even asked if she would go out tonight and she said maybe and told us where if she was going to go.  We left it at that.  Lunch was good and I was ready to get back to the hotel for a dip in the pool.

I’ve waited so long….

18 Jun

I took off work from Friday the previous week.  It felt like my vacation hadn’t begun even though I was off.  All I could think about was Tuesday.  Being in his arms again.  I worked hard arround my house.  Took the kids out but my mind always on him. 

Tuesday morning I left early.  We were staying about two hours from my house but he was at his friend’s house about an hour from me.  I’m about 30 minutes away when he texts me the door’s unlocked and I’m upstairs.  Reading it gives me a rush of excitement.  I press the accelerator to the floor and I can’t get there fast enough. 

I walk into the house and it’s so quiet.  I give a little hello before walking upstairs.  I hear music and follow it to see my love lying in a soft welcoming bed with his laptop.  He looks so handsome and his smile is amazing.  I slide into bed next to him and we hold each other tight.  We’re kissing and rubbing.  Touching and caressing.  The relief I feel in his arms is so wonderful. He pulls away and looks into my eyes and tells me he loves me.  How it makes me melt.

Before I know it I’m on top of him.  In my clothes riding him, grinding against him, driving myself crazy.  His eager hands slip under the front of my shirt and then around back unhooking my bra.  I sit up straight and slip off my shirt and bra slowly as his hands slide back up my body and start caressing my bare breasts.  He sits up to kiss my flesh and tease my nipples with little kisses, sucking lightly on them. 

I hop off the bed and wiggle off my work slacks giving him a little show.  He’s naked while I climb back on top of him.  We’re kissing again and he’s pushing up against my wet slit.  I’m pulling my hips up making him reach, making him wait.  His hands on my skin pulling me down I can feel how much he wants me and it feels so good.  Finley I have to give in, I want him so badly as well.  He’s making me moan.  I’m riding him hard now, pressing my clit against his body and taking him deep inside.  After a bit of fun I slide down and snuggle him and we kiss again.  He plays with the music on his lap top and puts on the Cramps and sets the lap top down again.

He looks in my eyes and rolls over stroking my hair and starts kissing me again.  He slides between my legs and enters me and gives me what I want.  Hard and deep and fast.  I’m yelling his name.  Panting thank you as he fucks me hard.  He moves between my legs straddling one while pushing my other off to the side and hits the spots you can’t fuck with a vibrator.  Making me cum so nicely.  He’s talking to me telling me how good I feel around his shaft.  Telling me he’s going to cum for me.  I feel him tense up and I buck against him hungrily.  As he slows I grind against him, I feel his warmth gushing into me and I love it.  He collapses on me and we hold each other.  So happy to be together again. 


Might as well be tattooed on my face…..

10 Apr

I’ve been quiet lately because I’ve felt like I’m just running in circles.  Sad, hopeful, hopeless, angry, sad…nothing changing…even worse nothing sexy happening.  It all seemed to redundant to write about.  Honestly whether you comment or not I feel like you all know me. Everyone that has given me their opinion, that I totally appreciate and am humbled that you’ve taken the time to read my life and comment, is seeing that I’d be better off without my fiancé. My distress seems to be oozing out of me.  I mentioned before that my boss told me in my review he’s behind me if I need to take a week or so off to set up child care and he would be flexible going forward if I need to take time off for the boys.  My mom and dad are always asking how I’m doing. 

We spent Easter afternoon at my moms house.  After dinner everyone was lounging arround at different areas of the house.   I wandered into the game room and was setting up a game of pool.  My step-sister came in and asked how I was doing.  I glossed over that I’m filing bankruptcy and that I’m trying to get my shit together.  Some how we started talking about my fiancé, she asked why I stay with him.  She told me that when the family gets together and I’m not there they talk about how to get me away from him.  That they would all help, I could stay in one of the two houses the family has as rentals and everyone would love watching the kids and helping me in anyway I need.  She talked to me like I was such a good normal person, I reminded her I’m not like everyone else.  I’m still a bit of trouble.  I couldn’t find a nice husband like she has now, he’d be scared of me.  She said that he likes me a lot and he also can’t see why I stay with my fiancé. 

She told me about leaving her first husband (they married when I was 18 and my fiancé and I were both at the wedding) she had an infant and only made $15k per year.  She didn’t take state assistance because the idea made her uncomfortable.  Her family helped, my family helped…her son is heathy happy and well adjusted.  Her ex never looked back, no child support, no visits he just disappeared. 

It was really touching to coming from her.  I’ve always been a wild child and she was always a bit more for lack of a better word “preppy”.  We weren’t close, sometimes even at odds.  I wasn’t one of the family that was there for her when she needed support.  I was too busy fucking off.  While we talked there were some tears and lots of hugs.  I was left with the feeling that I can do this, I have to do this and everyone knows it and is ready to help.

Texting can suck….

26 Mar

I am going over in my head again and again a text conversation I had with my lover. It all started off nice enough saying some dirty things to each other. I “slept in” while my fiancé got up with the boys. Alowing me the time to work up 7 or 8 orgasms by hand. I still haven’t gotten my vibe back.

Later on while on a hike with my boys I got a text. It’s a close up of a womans perfectly manicured finger delicately caressing her swollen clit. Her lips blossoming aroused. She is a friend and lover of Tom’s. The were in a bit of contact through Facebook. Tom is going to be in the area she will be traveling to for business in the near future.

Tom and I had talked about her recently on several occasions. What he’s told me of their times together has been hot. I recently asked for the steamy details to give me more fantasy material for the long lonely stretch until we can be together again. When I asked he didn’t have time to give it justice so I wait.

We had discussed the possibility she would meet up with him and travel with the band for the weekend. Tom had said he knows I would do well hanging with them on the road but he was concerned she’d need too much attention. Tom helps set up, sells band merch and drives the band van. He won’t be able to entertain her the whole time. They will also be crashing most likely in someones living room making sex, um, public. I of course said, “What’s wrong with fucking in the privacy of the van?”

So I know a great deal about them together.  I’ve seen her on his Facebook.  I have no reason to be jealous.  She is a church going married mother who gets wild while out of town. No big whoop right?  For a second there my mind reeled into thinking they had a tighter bond than Tom and I and that his sending me her pic means she’s already seen mine.  He’s sent me many pic’s of naked women but they had either given him permission or they weren’t his friends.  So to see her pic means there is something I don’t know or he’s betrayed her trust by sending it to me and if he’d do it to his friend he’s known longer than me who says he wouldn’t do it to me?  Then again maybe it’s just the opposite maybe we’re tighter than they are.  

He texted me that he would be telling her about me.  That I know about him and she will be OK knowing about me (he’s actually said she would love me).  I asked him what his angle was and he answered that he just wanted to be honest with us.  He said that he thought it was funny that he wanted to be honest with the women he is cheating with.  I told him how I like that about him then I asked about the picture.  I asked does she know if not will you tell her.  Right after I asked if he’d sent one of me and if he’d tell me.  His answer was short and that he would tell her and he would ask my permission.  I suddenly felt very guilty about how I asked.  Fucking texting sucks.

Fast forward to me relaxing and thinking about it from a different angle.  To me it’s hot that she sent him that picture.  I thought more about it and it started to get me all worked up again.  With my boys down for a nap and my fiancé hanging out playing video games with our friend I snuck into the bedroom and rubbed out one more for the biggest orgasm of the day.  I shared that with Tom and got no response.  Shit I’m thinking I made him uncomfortable and we won’t be able to talk about it until tomorrow.

This all goes down before 5pm.  At about 11pm I text him goodnight and he sends back goodnight sexy goddess.  I wake up to our joke, a joke I’m sure many married lovers have.  He says to me: I’m ready to run away with you.  Live in Mexico where we could live like kings.  We’ve been texting all morning and right back to normal.  Now I wonder do I even ask if I made him uncomfortable?  I guess I’ll play it by ear.

Round and round I go…..

15 Mar

My fiancé has to go to pain management sessions to keep receiving pain killers and of course to try to help him with his pain levels.  They have him talk to a councilor and when he relayed the session to me it was sad.  He was asked if the pain was effecting his relationship with me, of course he said yes.  Asked if he had any support, family near by, friends he can depend on.  He said no.  They asked if he thought his being a home maker was womans work and he says yes and adds that he loves his boys and is very happy to be with his kids.  They ask if there are any plans for separation and he tells them no and I say there’s no place for you to go anyway ( I know total bitch move ).

  He’s telling me all this and looking so sad.  He says how I don’t want to touch him, how he knows I don’t like him because I hardly look at him.  All I can do is look down at the bed and nod a little.  I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to put blame on him now.  Right now he is sad, pitiful and lost.  Honestly so am I.

My analytical side says things will never change.  He’ll always slide back to being the overbearing user that he has been all these years.  That we’ll always struggle and be at odds.  My heart had planned that we would be together forever.  My future was to have my family together, no sharing of holidays and weekends, I would grow old with someone I know and who knows me inside and out.  Who remembers me young and full of adventure.  Now that I’ve bonded to myself to him for life with our boys it makes it so much harder.

My cold heartless side says if I break things off and I kick him out he’ll get the disability and he’ll get the settlement he’s been working on from the injury and be up $50k while I’m still struggling.  He has mentioned getting these moneys and taking our family on a vacation and buying reliable cars.  He knows how this is killing me, that I work my ass off and feel guilty spending $20 on myself.  How I’m embarrassed to see my clients in my busted up car. 

Round in circles I go.  I do have an angel helping me take a look at my life to see where things have left me off kilter.  We talk when we can and honestly I think I might be to set in my ways to take her advice but I’m willing to listen and I won’t forget.  I may not do the right thing right away but at least I’ll have the knowledge for when it’s time.  I’m tired of being under the little black rain cloud.