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River daze…..

15 Aug

My love had to work on Thursday.  He gave me his truck again and like last time he left me his nice sunglasses as I didn’t have any.  I had talked to a few people and we had planned to float the river.  I’ve floated the local river where I live.  We take truck inner tubes and coolers of beer or drink bottles of mixed drinks and its a flashing trail of debauchery.  We make stops to drink and smoke weed and it’s crazy.  Well they do it different.  There are lot’s of floaters and you launch and land in designated parks.  There is talk of floating police looking for people drinking.  different but I’m still so excited to go.

So the singer for the band that got Tom and I together Randy, the pregnant girl who works at Adam and Eve Mandy, her friend who we met at the bar Moon and Will’s fun lesbian friend that he kisses some times Shawn are going to be the floating crew.  I meet up with Mandy first and we get together our sandwiches, fruit, waters and some box wine. We grab Randy and then head over to get our floats.  Moon was already following us in her truck.  We make it to the first park and we’re waiting for Shawn.  We eat lunch, chit chat…and wait and wait….she finaly shows up and we’re HOT and ready. 

Everyone loads into Tom’s truck and I drive our crew to the drop in point.  While I park they blow up our rafts. There is air compressors at the park.  Freakin’ sweet!  I’m in a raft with Moon.  Shawn is on her own on a lounger.  Mandy and Randy are together.  The river is fast and kinda chilly.  There are families with young kids floating in nice rafts with life vests.  It’s cool but weird.  I have our wine out of the box in just a bag.  I have two juice bottles that I’m using for the wine. 

Right off the bat I let us hit the trees on the shore getting a good laugh.  Shawn pops the back on her lounger and comes aboard with Moon and I.  I am doing terrible on paddling and managing the lounger.  I hop overboard and float on the backless lounger.  I get left behind for a bit but we find a way to catch up.  My fruit is now in the bottom of the raft.  The wine is starting to do the trick and I’ve now popped the main part of the lounger so I come aboard with the girls.  Shawn is our captain and she is hilarious.  We catch up to Mandy and Randy.  He is navigating perfectly and his lovely passenger is enjoying the ride.  Tom had given me his water proof camera so I’m taking pics and having a great time.  At one point Shawn slips up and runs us right into a tree.  That I straight arm and push us away from saving our raft!  We hit so hard that I broke the plastic juice cap that I had in my hand. Moon flashes Mandy and Mandy misses it.  We get her attention and I tease Randy not to look and flash with Moom.  He does good and doesn’t look!  A little later Moon falls out and I go to save her but I grab her leg and inadvertently hold her under a little longer that if I hadn’t tried to help her. 

The trip was great everyone was so cool.  We really wanted to just do it again.  As we pack into the trucks I tell Randy how proud I am that he didn’t look.  He’s Tom’s good friend so he goes on about respect for Tom.  I tease him again and give him a good flash.  I tell him Tom is OK with it and I was just being silly.  Shaun needed me to bring her something from the truck so after every one separated I went back to Shawn’s house and had a puff of weed and played some ping pong.  She is so sweet.  Mandy had invited us to dinner at her house and I didn’t commit because Tom and I really wanted to cook together and tonight was our last chance at dinner.  It was a great day and I was looking forward to another great night with him.

Pinned up and pinned down….

18 Sep

Today I’m hung over.  Not too badly but it’s not something I’ve dealt with for a long while.  I am working today. It’s easier to work hangover than be at home with the boys.  My fiancé and I went out to a party.  It was a Pin Up party.  All the girls had their hair curled with flowers or bandanas on.  Cute old-school dresses and lots of polka dots.  I started drinking at the house so I wouldn’t have to drive.  I rarely get out so why should I have to be the DD?  Everyone was happy to see me.  The music was horrible but after a while it was easy to drown out.  We had champagne, rum, vodka and whiskey.  Bong rips and key bumps.  I was pretty fucked up having a great time mingling with everyone when I noticed it was 2:30am.  We needed to get home!  I don’t remember the ride home.  I know from my fiancé that my Dad was kinda mad at us for having him stay late watching the kids.  

After he left my fiancé and I started fooling arround.  My memory fades in an out but I do remember him fucking me hard standing while I kneeled at the edge of the bed.  I let him rub my ass with his cock.  He started to push in and it felt good so I let him.  I turned over on my back and spread my legs showing off my pussy as he fucked my ass.  I guided his hand and had him finger me as he came in me.  As he was getting off he was moaning with pleasure.  With him finishing I knew I could give in and enjoy a great orgasm.  The next morning I surveyed the damage.  Cloths all over the living room.  Pizza over our head-board.  Sheets a mess and my butt feels funny.  I just wish I could remember more.

I want to be there so bad……

2 Sep

I’m just venting.  My love is going to a weekend festival of sorts.  Lots of punk and hard rock bands.  Camping drinking and general lawlessness.  He is bringing his three-wheeler, his shot-gun and a bunch of beer.  There will be lots of smoking (of which he does not partake) and drug use.  Basically a crazy weekend party/camp out with bands.  Oh how I want to shrug of my responsibilities and party with him.  He says he would love to have me there with him.  I tell him go have fun, I won’t expect to hear from him untill Tuesday.  He says he will be texting me if he has signal and if he gets any pictures of boobs he will send them to me.  I love how we interact.  We would have so much fun together.  I hate the reality that I will probably never get to be with him like that.  At least not untill I’m pushing 40 and he’s almost 50 (I’m 32 and he’s 41) and yes we are still acting like kids.  Just one more reason why I love him so.  I hate to think by the time I get my hands on him for good he’ll be to broken down to enjoy sleeping on the ground and partying all night.  I don’t plan on giving those things up (of course only on occasional basis).  As he parties the holiday weekend away I’ll be working.  He does have to work too so I expect to talk to him maybe even video chat when he is in town for work.  He’s going to spend tonight out there and go back out the next day for another night.  I hate to say it but I hope he can’t stop thinking of me while he watches all those other chicks party.

Rambeling about myself…..

14 Aug

In a nut shell my situation is this.  I’m with my fiancé who I’ve been together with for 15 years now.  We have been together since high school.  We have two kids under the age of 5, two dogs, a house and two cars.  Kinda like the American dream right?  Well that’s the short version.  I feel the need to give the long version now. 

We are both high school drop-outs.  I some have a great job even though I’m quite the fuck up.  I’ve smoked weed well over half of my time on this earth.  I got my job at before they started drug testing.  I enjoy using a variety of tamer drugs for recreation when the time is right.  Before my kids I used to trip about once a month.  Do E about every so often and do blow well probably 4-5 nights a week.  Don’t even ask about the drinking.  Even with all this I always showed up to work and performed.  I have a grow room all my own.  When it’s working I stay up late caring for my ladies and playing chemist with all the supplements that a hydro system needs.  I listen to metal, psychobilly, reggae and rock.  I’m just starting to get into punk.  I love to go to shows and even though I’m too old for this shit I love to bounce around in a mosh pit.  Now instead of a Slayer pit I stick to the more tame ones.  Even though I have two little kids I still like to have a good time, but I will not let my wants get in the way of caring for them and protecting them.  I have scaled back my partying a ton.  In fact now it’s probably 2 – 3 nights a year that I get crazy and that’s only when the kids are safely staying with a family member.  I’m learning how to live a “normal” life.  My co-workers mostly don’t know about my tendency to party.  They for sure don’t know I’m bi.  I feel like I have to keep so much of my self separate from parts of my life.  My work has social events some times you bring your spouse.  I have trouble bringing my fiancé because of all the stuff he cannot talk about.  Plus with no career or job he kinda doesn’t fit in.  I think sometimes like I’m an undercover freak.

Now I’ve got a new secret in my life Tom.  He doesn’t do drugs or smoke.  He has a job.  He was in the military for 10 years.  He does like to go to shows and he loves me.  I think he is the closest to a normal person who loves me ever.  I broke up with my fiancé once and I started dating a chef who was also a large-scale grower close to normal but not so much.  He had 10lbs of weed in his back room and half a pound of psychedelic mushrooms and the underside of his deck was double grow room.  Now I have a guy who is interested in me that would match up with how normal my life has become.  I could take him with me to the normal events and I wouldn’t have to remind him of what not to talk about.  I’ve told him about as much of my life as he would listen too.  I’d feel comfortable telling him anything he wants to know.  He says he’d be OK if I still chose to do drugs for fun.  He’s OK with me liking women ( guess what guy wouldn’t be).  He even said he would be OK letting me fuck another guy if it made me happy.  I love the way I feel when I’m talking to him.  When I’m with him.  He lives 700 miles from me.  He is married, they have a house, two dogs and two cars and a person they take care of.  We’ve only been in the same place a total of 6 days.  3 of those days were only a few hours.  I am so drawn to him.  When we talk about sex I’m so turned on by him.  When we talk about everyday stuff I want to be there.  When we talk about meeting I’m ready to run to him.  Still I don’t know where this will lead.  My heart is getting way to wrapped up in this and I’m starting to lose it.  My life was already complicated but now it’s dizzying. 

Some times I wonder why don’t I just say good-bye to both of them.  One doesn’t help me much and sometimes drags me down.  The other is, well, unavailable.  Then I think who would know me and love me.  I need a decent person to be with me and my kids and what decent person would like me with my crazy ways.  Maybe I’m over thinking this but it keeps coming back arround in my head.  I think I’ll do what I’ve always done.  Look forward, work hard and keep being me.

Ball game and a show……

12 Aug

I had the most fun I had in a long time about a month ago.  My work had gotten a luxury box for a base-ball game.  Free beer and brats!  Had some good company and didn’t have to drive.  The game was over way quick.  I got a good buzz going and we stopped at the local tavern when we got back to the town where my boss lives.  Had some great fries and some Lucky 13 from Lagunitas. 

I was early for my next adventure so I took a few minutes in the restroom to change into to a sexy sleeveless top and took my makeup up a notch for the show!  I was going to see the Reverend with the Swinging Utters!  While waiting for my fiancé to meet me I layed down in the grass in a park with a great view.  I had a video call with Tom.  I wished I was going to the show with him but with 700 miles between us it’s hard to get a date.  So my fiancé, our friend and I went out to dinner.  The place we went had great salsa.  I ordered a crab tostada.  The crab was horrible.  I tried their burritos also bad.  I had almost no dinner due to the poor quality of food.  Plus my stomach was touch due to all the beer and ball park junk food.  I was texting with Tom and he asked how much do you want to kiss me.  I said more than I want to smoke a joint.  I asked him the same question, he replied with the same answer.  I teased him saying you don’t smoke I’m offended.  Then my phone died.  I felt bad that I left him hanging but I could not ask my fiancé for his phone to text my lover now could I?  We ran into a friend who runs a tattoo shop down the way from the concert hall and smoked a joint with him.  It sure helped my tummy.  Now I’m feeling great! 

We got into the show and we were early.  I got my first Sailor and 7 for the night and we hung out and watched the crowd.  The opening band was great.  I had never seen the before and was so glad that I did.  The pit was small.  There was very tall guy with a huge mohawk in the pit the whole time, even soloing it at times.  I was being my self yelling my approval to the band bouncing around ready to run into the pit but I didn’t.  I was pretty drunk when they started to set up for the Reverend.  We saw a few friends and said our hello and they went back up to the front where we couldn’t go.  My fiancé had a surgery about 7 months ago and still didn’t do well with crowds.  He wanted me to hang with him so we were on the floor but against a wall off to the side.  When the Reverend came on I was drunk.  The pit was heating up and the band sounded great.   I wore flip-flops to the show because I knew my fiancé would not want me in the pit without him being to go in if he felt the need.  I kept taking off my shoes and starting to go.  He’s holding me back by my belt loops.  I give up at times and just dance with my back to him.  I feel him pulling at me here and there but I’m thinking he’s just trying to keep me from taking off for the front of the stage or the pit.  After the show I’m drunk and kinda pissy he wouldn’t let me play.  We had a friend that had said he could get us back stage but my fiancé didn’t even call him.  I was kinda disappointed about that. 

We went back to my friend’s house and had a beer in the hot tub and smoked another doobie.  I fell asleep in the car on the way home and when I got home I laughed my ass all the way into the house and to bed.  It was a great time.  I kept thinking I might have had more fun with Tom.  The next day I told Tom about the show.  He teased me that I forgot about him.  His response to how much he wanted to kiss me was more than he wanted to breath.  How sweet, he is always so sweet.  He said he would have let me play in the pit and go up to the front of the stage.  He knows one of the techs for the band he said he would have gotten us backstage to meet the Reverend and Jimbo (I always forget the drummers name).  I guess it’s easy to think it would be better if someone else was there but for some reason I really believe it.  I hope one day I’ll be able to see for real.  We said next time the Reverend tours we will go together.  I guess I will just have to wait and see.

And so it began…..

23 Jul

Out of town on business for a week in a state I had never been to, nor did I think I would ever visit.  I read the local paper and saw there would be some bands at two of the local bars.   I picked one at random and after dinner I went out and sat down at the bar by myself.  The bartender was tattooed, the place was dark and smokey.  I loved it.  I was early so I kept a pleasant conversation with the bartender.

 

  The first act was good.  Some how I met the second band before they went on stage and asked if I could take a video of their performance to share with my friends back home.  I loved their music, I took two videos and on my second one this guy stepped into my shot.  Instead of just passing me by he apologized to me.  We talked a little, turned out he was with the band.  After their set I ended up talking to them some.  Being a stoner I kept looking for someone who smoked because I couldn’t bring my stash with me.  I was talking to everyone there, they were all so nice.  The guy that got into my video let’s call him Tom invited me to come out the following night.  It was for a friend’s birthday at a local bar/pool hall.  I gave him my number and said I would join the party.  I finally found the Barber.  He said he would go get me a joint. 

 

When he returned we smoked outside.  He was well dressed, heavily tattooed and very interested in having sex with me.  Showed me pictures of his wife, telling me it’s OK with her.  I begged him to back away, telling him I’d buy him lap dances at the local strip club, be his wing woman to find an available girl to get together with.  That I’m engaged with two kids I don’t want to fool arround.  He pressed himself against me, he had an amazing body.  His big strong arms on either side of me.  Strong chest pressed against me trying to kiss me.  My quick breath and expression was giving a mixed signal, but I was clear this is not something I want.  I was embarrassed I had gotten myself into the situation and didn’t want my new friends to see me with this guy.  I started to walk back to my car.  The barber offered me a ride, telling me how beautiful he thinks I am and how it would be our secret if we fucked.  When I got to my car it was clear I drank too much and was not able to drive.  He drove me to my hotel, he pressed me for a kiss.  He got the worst kiss I have ever given anyone.  I retired for the night, drunk stoned and happy to be alone in my bed.