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The first night in his domain….

31 Jul

The bands were good.  Someone skated the half pipe and fell a few times but didn’t get hurt.  They had 22s of my favorite beer.  I met a nice girl that works at a clothing consignment and second hand store.  Met some of the friends he has told me about.  Hung out with the preggo gal and her friends.  Tom chatted with some people away from me.  It was a different dynamic than I am used to.  The freedom not to be by my date’s side and not having to worry about how it will effect my night if I’m not shadowing him all the time. 

I smoked that night.  I bummed a cig the first time I smoked.  The next time I asked a fella and one of the girls I’d been talking to said, “You asked the wrong dude.  He’s the biggest bum.”  So being playful I asked him to bum a cig for me.  He did and we all chatted.  He is a funny little guy a drummer from a band and had a tattoo of a drumming panda on his arm.  We went in for a while and enjoyed the band.  They sounded great.  The energy in the room was awesome.  After a while we went back outside.  I talked with my drummer friend and Tom chatted with the girls.  The drummer guy’s buddy a singer for one of the bands they are in together came over. 

This is a punk show.  I’m not very punk. I’m more of a rock-a-billy, metal, Cali girl combo.  They started talking about my outfit.  I’m wearing a black Lucky 13 tank top with a little green loose knitted sweater and a pair of slightly baggy wide leg torn up washed out light blue jeans.  I’m from California so I’m wearing flip flops, simple black.  I’ve got black hair, betty bangs, red lips, cat eyes and little plugs.  They start in about my pants and shoes.  I should be wearing tight black jeans worn in, some chucks and not a brand name tank.  I’m teasing them back that I look good and they look like shit.  They start saying from here up beautiful, hand slicing me at my waist, from here down needs work.  They spin me arround, but you have a nice ass, front side great boobs. Here let me take off that sweater he says, it was hooked with a safety pin behind the button so he bit it off.  He’s clearly drunk but he’s funny and I’m teasing him.  Out of nowhere Tom comes through the guys and grabs me right at the sides of my boobs and guides me through those two and back to his truck.

I’m giggling the whole way.  Tom said he was done with the show.  He wanted to get me alone.  We make out in the car for a bit.  Those arousal pills were making me feel even more ready than I thought.  We’re touching and kissing on the drive home.  He grabs some towels and we head for the hot tub.  The night sky is beautiful.  We get in nude and start kissing.  I don’t know if it’s the pills or the night or the excitement to be with him again but it’s AMAZING.  I’m riding him as we’re kissing, half floating away and pulling myself back down hard.  Grinding, getting chills and tingles. 

He takes me upstairs and we’re fucking every which way.  Licking and sucking.  Touching and pushing.  He starts to play with my ass and I return the favor.  I decide to let him try again.  I have him get the lube and we go slow.  I talk him through it.  Oh, my it was hard.  He is very thick and it took more work than I thought to get him inside of me.  It was amazing but still surprising.  Once he felt comfortable he started to thrust harder.  I had to direct him to slow down.  This seems to be something I do when I’m tipsy so I threw caution to the wind and let him go back to fucking my pussy where he could thrust hard.  After a bit more fun he let me know he was cumming and I took him into my mouth.  I worked every last bit out of him as he moaned and his body shuddered against me.  He held me breathlessly and told me how wonderful it felt.  I told him how much I love him and that it was perfect for me too.  I was happy to be his first.  We fell asleep easily in each others arms.

The song that is playing in my head…..

30 Apr

With friends like you, who needs enemies?
You ain’t right, you ain’t never gonna be
You’re out of the car, I’m afraid you’ve been declined.
You shake my hand, while you’re pissing on my leg
I’m cutting you loose, I don’t need this misery
Your soul is toxic, you ain’t no friend of mine. NO!!!

You talk real trash, when I’m not around
To build yourself up, you gotta tear me down.
You’ll have to excuse me, I got better things to do
You smile through your teeth, you talk out you’re neck
Every chance you get, you’re going to stab my back
Your time’s run out, I’ve got nothing left for you.

I’m leaving you far behind
I’m leaving you far behind
Stop wasting all, all my time
I’m leaving you far behind, Yeah!!!

So I’m pulling out the weeds, I’m taking stock
You can talk the talk, but can’t walk the walk
Your narcissistic ways have gotten the best of you
So I’m leaving you to sink in all your glory
For you and me it’s the end of the story
Get out of my way, I’ve got better things to do.

With friends like you, who needs enemies?
You ain’t right, you ain’t never going to be
Your soul is toxic, you ain’t no friend of mine.

It might be a little extreme but it hits a lot of the points I’m feeling right now.  Will fill you all in later.  It’s month end and crazy busy.  Have a nice day!

Music and mayhem….

9 Nov

Whoo hoo!  Had a great time last night.  Went and saw a show and a new local venue.  I made an executive decision to spend $20 bucks and have some fun!  The Koffin Kats played with some other awesome bands at warehouse that just started having shows about two months ago.  The crowd was mostly younger Punks with a handful of Rockabilly types.  I was good and stayed out of the pit.  My fiancé came, I’ve been telling him about this venue.  They’ve had some no name hardcore bands come through. I’ve been trying to get him to go (since I couldn’t go) and he always seemed put off by the no name bands at a new venue in a bad neighborhood. 

We met a few of the folks that run the joint and chatted with the crowd.  My mind kept coming back to Tom.  I’m thinking he would love the place and the crowd.  When I told him about the show I mentioned the 2nd band who I was not familiar with and he knew them right away.  The place was covered in graffiti and had a nice upstairs loungy area with an interesting selection of books.  It was BYOB making it a very cost-effective night! 

I hope I can go to more shows there and make some new friends.  The crew we hang out with is cool but they don’t fit with my interests.  They prefer Techno to Hard Core.  Louis Vuittan to Lucky 13.  Acra to Chevy.  Don’t get me wrong there is a bunch of other stuff we connect on but I’d love to find some folks that match a bit better with my tastes. 

I want to be there so bad……

2 Sep

I’m just venting.  My love is going to a weekend festival of sorts.  Lots of punk and hard rock bands.  Camping drinking and general lawlessness.  He is bringing his three-wheeler, his shot-gun and a bunch of beer.  There will be lots of smoking (of which he does not partake) and drug use.  Basically a crazy weekend party/camp out with bands.  Oh how I want to shrug of my responsibilities and party with him.  He says he would love to have me there with him.  I tell him go have fun, I won’t expect to hear from him untill Tuesday.  He says he will be texting me if he has signal and if he gets any pictures of boobs he will send them to me.  I love how we interact.  We would have so much fun together.  I hate the reality that I will probably never get to be with him like that.  At least not untill I’m pushing 40 and he’s almost 50 (I’m 32 and he’s 41) and yes we are still acting like kids.  Just one more reason why I love him so.  I hate to think by the time I get my hands on him for good he’ll be to broken down to enjoy sleeping on the ground and partying all night.  I don’t plan on giving those things up (of course only on occasional basis).  As he parties the holiday weekend away I’ll be working.  He does have to work too so I expect to talk to him maybe even video chat when he is in town for work.  He’s going to spend tonight out there and go back out the next day for another night.  I hate to say it but I hope he can’t stop thinking of me while he watches all those other chicks party.

Rambeling about myself…..

14 Aug

In a nut shell my situation is this.  I’m with my fiancé who I’ve been together with for 15 years now.  We have been together since high school.  We have two kids under the age of 5, two dogs, a house and two cars.  Kinda like the American dream right?  Well that’s the short version.  I feel the need to give the long version now. 

We are both high school drop-outs.  I some have a great job even though I’m quite the fuck up.  I’ve smoked weed well over half of my time on this earth.  I got my job at before they started drug testing.  I enjoy using a variety of tamer drugs for recreation when the time is right.  Before my kids I used to trip about once a month.  Do E about every so often and do blow well probably 4-5 nights a week.  Don’t even ask about the drinking.  Even with all this I always showed up to work and performed.  I have a grow room all my own.  When it’s working I stay up late caring for my ladies and playing chemist with all the supplements that a hydro system needs.  I listen to metal, psychobilly, reggae and rock.  I’m just starting to get into punk.  I love to go to shows and even though I’m too old for this shit I love to bounce around in a mosh pit.  Now instead of a Slayer pit I stick to the more tame ones.  Even though I have two little kids I still like to have a good time, but I will not let my wants get in the way of caring for them and protecting them.  I have scaled back my partying a ton.  In fact now it’s probably 2 – 3 nights a year that I get crazy and that’s only when the kids are safely staying with a family member.  I’m learning how to live a “normal” life.  My co-workers mostly don’t know about my tendency to party.  They for sure don’t know I’m bi.  I feel like I have to keep so much of my self separate from parts of my life.  My work has social events some times you bring your spouse.  I have trouble bringing my fiancé because of all the stuff he cannot talk about.  Plus with no career or job he kinda doesn’t fit in.  I think sometimes like I’m an undercover freak.

Now I’ve got a new secret in my life Tom.  He doesn’t do drugs or smoke.  He has a job.  He was in the military for 10 years.  He does like to go to shows and he loves me.  I think he is the closest to a normal person who loves me ever.  I broke up with my fiancé once and I started dating a chef who was also a large-scale grower close to normal but not so much.  He had 10lbs of weed in his back room and half a pound of psychedelic mushrooms and the underside of his deck was double grow room.  Now I have a guy who is interested in me that would match up with how normal my life has become.  I could take him with me to the normal events and I wouldn’t have to remind him of what not to talk about.  I’ve told him about as much of my life as he would listen too.  I’d feel comfortable telling him anything he wants to know.  He says he’d be OK if I still chose to do drugs for fun.  He’s OK with me liking women ( guess what guy wouldn’t be).  He even said he would be OK letting me fuck another guy if it made me happy.  I love the way I feel when I’m talking to him.  When I’m with him.  He lives 700 miles from me.  He is married, they have a house, two dogs and two cars and a person they take care of.  We’ve only been in the same place a total of 6 days.  3 of those days were only a few hours.  I am so drawn to him.  When we talk about sex I’m so turned on by him.  When we talk about everyday stuff I want to be there.  When we talk about meeting I’m ready to run to him.  Still I don’t know where this will lead.  My heart is getting way to wrapped up in this and I’m starting to lose it.  My life was already complicated but now it’s dizzying. 

Some times I wonder why don’t I just say good-bye to both of them.  One doesn’t help me much and sometimes drags me down.  The other is, well, unavailable.  Then I think who would know me and love me.  I need a decent person to be with me and my kids and what decent person would like me with my crazy ways.  Maybe I’m over thinking this but it keeps coming back arround in my head.  I think I’ll do what I’ve always done.  Look forward, work hard and keep being me.

Ball game and a show……

12 Aug

I had the most fun I had in a long time about a month ago.  My work had gotten a luxury box for a base-ball game.  Free beer and brats!  Had some good company and didn’t have to drive.  The game was over way quick.  I got a good buzz going and we stopped at the local tavern when we got back to the town where my boss lives.  Had some great fries and some Lucky 13 from Lagunitas. 

I was early for my next adventure so I took a few minutes in the restroom to change into to a sexy sleeveless top and took my makeup up a notch for the show!  I was going to see the Reverend with the Swinging Utters!  While waiting for my fiancé to meet me I layed down in the grass in a park with a great view.  I had a video call with Tom.  I wished I was going to the show with him but with 700 miles between us it’s hard to get a date.  So my fiancé, our friend and I went out to dinner.  The place we went had great salsa.  I ordered a crab tostada.  The crab was horrible.  I tried their burritos also bad.  I had almost no dinner due to the poor quality of food.  Plus my stomach was touch due to all the beer and ball park junk food.  I was texting with Tom and he asked how much do you want to kiss me.  I said more than I want to smoke a joint.  I asked him the same question, he replied with the same answer.  I teased him saying you don’t smoke I’m offended.  Then my phone died.  I felt bad that I left him hanging but I could not ask my fiancé for his phone to text my lover now could I?  We ran into a friend who runs a tattoo shop down the way from the concert hall and smoked a joint with him.  It sure helped my tummy.  Now I’m feeling great! 

We got into the show and we were early.  I got my first Sailor and 7 for the night and we hung out and watched the crowd.  The opening band was great.  I had never seen the before and was so glad that I did.  The pit was small.  There was very tall guy with a huge mohawk in the pit the whole time, even soloing it at times.  I was being my self yelling my approval to the band bouncing around ready to run into the pit but I didn’t.  I was pretty drunk when they started to set up for the Reverend.  We saw a few friends and said our hello and they went back up to the front where we couldn’t go.  My fiancé had a surgery about 7 months ago and still didn’t do well with crowds.  He wanted me to hang with him so we were on the floor but against a wall off to the side.  When the Reverend came on I was drunk.  The pit was heating up and the band sounded great.   I wore flip-flops to the show because I knew my fiancé would not want me in the pit without him being to go in if he felt the need.  I kept taking off my shoes and starting to go.  He’s holding me back by my belt loops.  I give up at times and just dance with my back to him.  I feel him pulling at me here and there but I’m thinking he’s just trying to keep me from taking off for the front of the stage or the pit.  After the show I’m drunk and kinda pissy he wouldn’t let me play.  We had a friend that had said he could get us back stage but my fiancé didn’t even call him.  I was kinda disappointed about that. 

We went back to my friend’s house and had a beer in the hot tub and smoked another doobie.  I fell asleep in the car on the way home and when I got home I laughed my ass all the way into the house and to bed.  It was a great time.  I kept thinking I might have had more fun with Tom.  The next day I told Tom about the show.  He teased me that I forgot about him.  His response to how much he wanted to kiss me was more than he wanted to breath.  How sweet, he is always so sweet.  He said he would have let me play in the pit and go up to the front of the stage.  He knows one of the techs for the band he said he would have gotten us backstage to meet the Reverend and Jimbo (I always forget the drummers name).  I guess it’s easy to think it would be better if someone else was there but for some reason I really believe it.  I hope one day I’ll be able to see for real.  We said next time the Reverend tours we will go together.  I guess I will just have to wait and see.

I wasn’t looking but I got found……

23 Jul

So, work is still going really good. I’ve been having fun. My fiancé being mean to me is really bumming me out. We have always partied our whole time together. Before we met he knew I was always into going on adventures meeting new people and having a great time. So tonight Tom has told me about a crazy punk show at the first bar I visited. I’m tossing arround going. I wander arround downtown and check out some art, taste some wine have some food all by my lonesome. It’s getting later and I’m not sure if I’m gonna go to the show. My co-worker has flaked on me. All the nasty things my fiancé said to me floating arround in my head.

I decide what the fuck and text Tom asking if they are at the show. They are so I head down that way. I still have my work cloths on. I work in a professional setting, so I’m dressed kinda nice, surely too nice for a punk show. At the bard the band from Monday is hanging out with my new friend Tom. I grab a beer and sit down. We chat it up, we all talk about our kids, music, shows, travel and I can’t remember what else. I buy a round or two for the group. When the headline act comes on we move to the front of room up by the stage. I’m getting  a buzz on. The band is fucking awesome! There is a little mosh pit going on and I have to jump in here and there. Tom is hanging with me buying me a few beers, I’ve bought him a few too so it’s kinda even. He is up a round of tater tots. He jumps through the pit a few times. Now I should say he is handsome but not really my type. I’m a voluptuous woman, well-built but definitely built strong. He’s of average size a bit taller than me but not much. He is so nice, he’s got an accent that I love, beautiful eyes and a great smile. When it was closing time he offered to drive me home, his buddy rode with us too. We dropped him off first, I gave him a hug and thanked him for hanging out with a stranger from out-of-town.

 Tom and I drove back to the hotel. We talked about camping, this awesome hot spring he found, hiking, music and I felt so comfortable with him. I gave him a hug and was going to head to my room alone even though I didn’t want the night, or my trip to end. I’m not sure how exactly he asked but he asked me if he could come up to cuddle. I reminded him I have a fiance and two kids.  I’m not looking to fool arround and for some reason I had him come up with me.

I went to the bathroom and took off my work cloths, put on some comfy pants and a t-shirt with no bra. We sat on the bed together and we did start hugging. We laid down and pressed against each other some more, his embrace felt so good. I can’t remember what we talked about. What happened next is what I cannot forget and couldn’t stop thinking about for weeks even months. We started to kiss, sweet soft kisses that turned more and more passionate. He moved from beside me to on top of me. He is such a great kisser. He started caressing my breasts. I put myself on top of him and started kissing and rubbing on him. I had not felt such passion inside of me for so long. My whole body was alive and hungry for him. I bit his neck, he stopped me and asked that I leave no marks. I asked why he showed me his ring, he is married. I’ve never been with a married man but I had no desire to stop. He put himself back on top of me and kissed me some more. He slid his hands down my pants and played with me, I was so wet for him. He drove me crazy but still I was not ready to have sex with someone else. He promised he would not push to go that far. He made me feel so good with his fingers that when he pulled my pants down and went down on me I couldn’t say no. It felt so good, he was amazing. He went back up and we kept kissing. In a moment of weakness I put my hand down his pants but withdrew quickly I didn’t want to press my luck with his commitment to not try to have sex with me.

Before we realized it 4am came arround. We were both sleepy and he could not sleep with me. He had to go home to his wife. I walked him to the door in just a t-shirt. He asked for a picture of my boobs. I told him no. He was OK with it and we kissed. I told him if I could I would stop by his work before I got on my plane tomorrow ( it was really today). We kissed and he was gone. I was so hot and bothered I finished the job myself and went to sleep.