Archive | in touch RSS feed for this section

The arrival…..

1 Oct

I had the best weekend I can remember.  Tom is now driving back to his state.  A ten hour drive, 653 miles he will drive it in one shot.  Just like he did when he came to see me.  He left work early Thursday.  He loaded up his truck with the things he would need to help me and stopped by to say good bye to his wife before leaving town.  I talked with him on my lunch break until he lost signal. 

He said he should make it to town between midnight and one am.  When I got home I got busy.  Mopping, tidying up, getting the patio ready…I was getting things close to how I wanted them to be when my love arrived.  At 11 o’clock was just taking a break to prepare myself for his arrival a little orgasm to take the edge off my nerves and freshen up some.  

My phone had frozen up so I turned it off and pant’s off in my bedroom I turned it back on.  This new phone boots up quick.  Instantly I see I have a picture message.  It’s my house numbers.  I call him.  Stuttering ,”How did you get here so fast? oh my god I’m not ready.”.  I’m putting on pants as I’m walking to the door.  I let my dogs out first so they don’t wake the children as they get to know him. 

They seem unphased by him.  I grab him seconds after they sniff him and we hold each other tight kissing passionately.  I take him into the house.  I can’t remember if I gave him a tour.  I know we ended up in the bedroom.  I had not yet made the bed.  It didn’t matter we locked the door and kissed like teenagers.  So happy to be together again.  I started to undo his belt, his pants…he stood up and took them off.  I took off everything.  We pressed against each other savoring the skin to skin contact we’d been longing for.  I slid down and started to lick him and kiss him.  Finally taking him into my mouth giving him a very attentive blow job.  I’m paying attention to the details.  Caressing his balls as I suck him deeply, creating a rhythm with my hand and mouth.  Keeping as much suction as I can.  Taking him deep and cramming his cock against the back of my throat.  Letting him trust up as much as he would like into my waiting mouth while he grips a fist full of my hair.  I’m so wet.  I hear what I’ve been waiting for the change in his breathing.  He says,” Oh, fuck yeah baby I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”. I feel him starting to ease off thrusting and then my mouth is filled with his seed.  I suck and lick and keep him moaning for as long as I can.  He never gets soft.  He’s still ready to fuck me. 

I lay next to him and I feel euphoric too.  We are both just enjoying the afterglow of an amazing blow job.  It’s the first time he’s cum in my mouth from head alone and I’m loving it.  He is still hard.  I am still horny.  After a little rest we’re kissing and touching again.  He’s rubbing my pussy and I’m so wet.  His fingers feel amazing.  He gets between my legs and starts rubbing me with the head of his cock.  He’s driving me madd and then he suddenly slides into me all the way making me gasp.  He’s fucking me slowly and deep.  It feels amazing.  Something I’ve been waiting for so long.  The rhythm gets faster, my legs are up on his shoulders and I’m squeezing my thighs together and he’s getting that look.  I swear I feel his cock swell before he says he’s cumming again.  When he’s to the point he can no longer thrust I use my legs to pull up against his dick.  The pressure causing him to moan each time I pull up.  We lay together for a short while before showering up and dressing again.

Since the boys are home he cannot stay with me.  We cuddle for a few minutes but he is sleepy from the 10 hour drive to my home.  His hotel will not be ready until the next day at 2pm so I give him a blanket and a pillow and he says he will sleep in his truck.  He will stay by my office so I can see  him before work and at lunch.  I’ll be working late the next day and he has plans for us.  I see him out and go to sleep so excited for tomorrow.

Advertisements

Still torn….

20 Feb

Yesterday Tom texted me that he was riding his bike to work to get in better shape for our summer vacation.  I hoped he ment me and him but since we had nothing planned yet I wondered if it was a vacation he and his wife were taking together.  When he got done with his little five mile ride he called me out of breath.  After we talked for a little bit I asked if it was a vacation for him and I.  Of course it was.  He said he was all sweaty and cold and needed to get cleaned up to go into work.  It was 33 degrees and sprinkling.  I think that’s so hot and I told him so. 

I’m counting down.  Ten days until my lover will be in my neck of the woods.  With his wife and her sister and maybe her brother will be with him.  He still doesn’t have a plan to break away.  I have two days off and I don’t know which one I will need to use to drive to the city to meet him for an hour or two or more?  I’m tempted to pay for the ladies to get mani-pettis so I can steal a bit of his time. 

I know I’ve said it before but the lowred contact makes me wonder if he still has the same feelings for me.  Then he’ll get on the phone with me and tell me how amazing I am and how he wants to hold me.  He left me the cutest voice mail message saying he wanted to get behind me and squeeze my titties while he fucked me.  I still have it saved for a rainy day, listening to it always makes me smile.  He sent me a picture of his cock recently and my responce was it makes me want him to shove it inside of me.  It always amazes me that my doubt is erased by contact with him.  He really makes me melt.

How does he do it?….

9 Feb

He’s not my knight in shining armor.  He’s not going to run to me if I end up breaking up my family.  He’s not even sure how he find a way to spend time with me.  Something about him makes me happy and freaking horny.

Yesterday I had a great time.  My fiancé had an oppertunity to make money in the city and took off early in the day.  I took the day off of work.  The boys and I went out to the park, to lunch, to the library, to the dentist (they really liked the dentist) and back home for naps. 

After I got them down I tried to make contact with Tom.  I sent a few texts nothing out of the ordinary.  He tried to send me a picture (remember he’s growing a beard and giving me beard updates) and it wasn’t sending.  He also had gotten off work and got home before I could get free.  At home he was no longer alone so we couldn’t talk. 

 I sent him a note that maybe I’ll get a nice surprise later with his picture.  He sends “Are you OK?” Then right after, “You sound somber.”  I kept it vague.  How can you explain in text what’s weighing on my mind?  He then sent me a series of responses that had me laughing out loud. 

I can’t wait to talk to him again.  Last time we spoke I had to leave the conversation too quick while he was venting about the frustrations in his life.  Work trumped my phone time.  I felt bad and he understood.  He texted me after we hung up how much he loves me and that my voice was still ringing in his ears.  I think no matter what happens we will be friends. We’ve shared with eachother things we don’t share with others.  There is a bond between us that I’ve shared with very few people.

A new normal…….

16 Jan

At first I was hurt and feeling rejected by the fact Tom was texting me less.  Sometimes even bypassing my questions I’d texted to him.  Usaly nothing of importance just digital small talk but he had a strong hold on my heart and to be ignored sucked.  When we started talking we couldn’t get enough of each other the feelings felt mutual. 

I learned he had experience cheating. I would tell him how guilty I felt when I thought about how much this could hurt my fiancé.  He didn’t seem to have the same issues at all.  He told me how he could keep things separate and it didn’t bother him.  It seamed so strange to me, I didn’t think I’d ever feel that way. Time has passed and now things are separate for me too. A new normal.

Time is making it easier for me to define a place in my life for Tom.  Before it was a strong pull to be with him to bring him into my everyday life.  I think a few things worked together to get me over this.  He has said somethings that make me think that maybe he’s not the ideal partner I imagined him to be, nothing major just little things.  The lowered contact has also helped lessen the pull, I almost feel like he’s training me to accept this but that just might be in my head.  I’m refocusing on my home life.  It’s putting things back into perspective. 

I still love to talk to him.  I still can’t wait to see him.  I don’t have the heartache and the weepyness anymore.  I even worry that maybe I need to let him know that things are changing for me.  Sometimes I think I know what another person is feeling or thinking but I’ve been wrong more than once.  I wonder if he still thinks that if he asked I’d run to him ( I guess more like clear a spot for him to run to me ).  I don’t know if that would work now.  However I don’t think that is ever going to happen. 

I am moving forward with a new normal.  Tom is a good friend, a wonderful lover (when I get my hands on him).  I don’t wait for his every text checking my phone every few seconds.  I don’t send him a picture every day.  I don’t feel slighted when he doesn’t text me.  When we do talk it’s always wonderful.  When we touch it’s magic.  Sometimes when you get too much of a good thing it looses it’s magic, this might be the perfect way to keep the magic going.

Caught in the middle…….

10 Aug

It’s beyond just sex.  He still turns me on so much but I want him in my life every day.  I keep thinking when we are not in touch that I need to cut things off.  I need to say to him let’s not talk as often.  You live your life I’ll live mine, untill it implodes, then I’ll come looking for you.  Maybe then you can come to me.  This weirdness in the middle is too much for me to take.  I’m tearing up now as I write this.  I tear up all day as I think about how much I would like to live a different life.  So I think over and over we can be friends call each other when we miss each other but then I get him on the phone.  Last night we got to talk.  He said how much he missed me, talked about his vacation and what he’s working on around the house.  I caught him up on my work and how things are going for me.  We barely talked about sex.  We talked about meeting up again.  I keep wanting to tell him that maybe this is too much for me.  It would be so much easier if it was just sex.  Don’t get me wrong I got off thinking about him twice this morning.  As we were getting off the phone last night we were talking about how much we enjoyed each other, but I want more.  How can I tell him without freaking him out.  Who needs a possessive lover 700 miles away.  I wish I could find the right words, the right time maybe I could tell him. 

On the home front my fiancé is still as lazy as ever.  He is depressed, he is begging for my attention but is often, short with me, rude and demeaning.  Have you ever been with some one that complains every day when they wake up.  It’s killing me!  He calls me to ask what to do with the kids every other day.  He calls me to ask what to make for dinner every other day.  His job is to stay home and take care of the kids and house.  Why is this so hard?  I wish I could be a home maker.  Don’t get me wrong I like my work, I’ve always liked working but now I just want to show him there is a better way.  I’m so ready to call Tom and say hey just drop everything and come be a student and live with me.  He is close to getting a degree but he works full-time so it’s taking longer than if he could just concentrate on his studys.  I’m dragging along someone who makes more of a mess than progress in my home.  Why not just put the kids in pre-school and then they would have activities and interaction all day.  My house would not get messed up all day long for me to come home and try to clean.  I need to do it myself.  If it is to be it is up to me, right?

Gambling girl…..

8 Aug

Oh the weekend.  I used to love you.  Now you make me anxious and tired.  This weekend I had fun.  I got shit done.  We went over to my Mom’s and swam till about 11 at night.  The boys had a blast!  I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more, I think I cooked in there too.  We went to the park and ran around.  We went to a festival of Mustaches and Bicycles.  As my fiancé sat around while I was working away or was a poop at the festival that was smaller than we had anticipated I kept thinking would it be more fun with Tom.  My fiancé would try to kiss me or grab my tit or ass and I just couldn’t be receptive.  I wish he would just disappear some times.  While I’m digging in my back yard trying to prep to grow some grass he’s standing around smoking.  He did cut some tree into pieces but cleaned nothing and was bothered to watch the kids while I worked.  We did go on a bike ride together than was nice. 


I kept thinking could I mountain bike with Tom?  Oh my love, he had been out of touch for so long.  I was writing texts to myself with no response.  What a lonely place to be living with some one that you’re falling out of love with and be out of touch with the one you do love.  Doubt keeps sliding in, wondering if we would really be good together.  If my fiancé left, if we broke up would he want to be the one for me for real?  I try not to think about that.  I try to keep the issues separate.  If I get left by my fiancé for what I’m doing I’m not going to expect Tom to come and jump right into my life.  I want it to be that way. It’s so fucking hard to keep my mind straight.  I wonder what would happen if his wife was to find out.  Would she just forgive him?  Would she leave?  Should I ask him what he thinks?  When we started talking very little was off-limits.  I didn’t care what he thought of me if he stopped talking to me who cares.  He was cool but if he wasn’t cool with me whatever, right?  Now I’m hooked, I can’t stop thinking about him.  If he decided not to talk to me I’d be questioning myself.  I guess there is just so much more at stake now that I love him so.  I wonder if he’s just using me for sexual encounters that are low risk (expensive though).  I don’t think it’s the case but when you can’t see someone when you talk to them do you really know if they are telling the truth?  We’re talking about meeting up again but this time in a gambling city.  Well I guess I’m a gambling girl.  I’m almost all in here and I’m gonna stay on for the ride.  I hope I win big.  It’s gonna hurt like fuck if I bust.

Jealous….Who, me?

25 Jul

I’m not the jealous type. I’m kinda pretty and have big boobs and nice curves. What guy wouldn’t want me (said with a half cocked smile)? On top of it I like girls. If a hot girl is hitting on my man I’m in there trying to see if she likes me too! I have had more than one person ask how I keep from being jealous. So now I have this weird situation. Tom is very good with the ladies. I find that very attractive. I get turned on thinking of these things but I also have a new and different feeling that is coming along with it, jealousy. I think it’s because they can be with him, those women are there with him. His storeys become kinda bitter-sweet. If I could just get my hands on him more frequently I think would be only sweet and possibly really hot! I don’t want him to change a thing other than being so far away.