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One of the many reasons I think I need a spanking…

11 Apr

I’m wondering if when I’m stressed or feel cornered I act out like a teenager.  Since things have gotten bad and I feel trapped I’ve acted out sexually.  I never would have kissed Tom if things with my fiancé weren’t so bad.  He was sweet I had an attraction to him but if I was really out on the prowl he would not have been my target. 

With him being so far away I’m finding myself very frustrated and I’m letting it branch out.  I’ve checked personals for available girls.  I posted on an affair weight but didn’t pay for it so I haven’t “reached out” to anyone.  It seemed like a good idea at the time because I talked to someone that had some luck on the site.  I’ve even caught myself staring at attractive people more often.

 This brings me to the reason for my post.  My fiancé met another stay at home dad at the park.  He is a fella from the Netherlands, he likes metal and plays guitar.  They hit it off and my fiancé invited him over for a beer that night.  I need to give him a name and I shall call him Olaf because his accent and his love of metal reminds me of Jay and Silent Bob.  Olaf metal! and then he sings Making fuck and making love bezerker….well I’m off topic but Olaf seems fitting right now. 

So he’s a pretty good-looking guy, beautiful skin, just below chin length hair light brown, gorgeous blue eyes, sturdy build.  After I get the boys to bed we’re all drinking, he’s playing guitar with my fiancé.  Regular chit-chat stuff, a few friends come over so now all five of us are chopping it up.

  For a few minutes I’m alone with him and I ask him about Second Life (he met his wife on the game).  He told me he DJ’d at a 2nd life club for pay.  He said he also made money building furniture digitally for the game.  Strange concept to me a total Second Life laymen.  He said you can put the furniture in your flat or apartment or your dungeon or torture chamber.  That he specialized in furniture that would restrain a body in different ways. OMG on-line bondage?!?!  I want to know more but then they all came back…plus I just met the guy so I try to keep my eagerness to find out more totally hidden.

Through the course of our conversation Olaf refered to his wife as a princess at one point.  Other than that he didn’t speak much about her.  I had mentioned something about wanting to watch the Game of Thones to check out the hot chick that gets naked and he lit up asking me, “Do you like women?”.  When I left the room he told my fiancé how he thought I was, so my little horny mind is going berserker.  What if he has a hot wife that likes girls and they will spank my ass while I lick her up and down? When he left that night he gave me lingering close hug.

The next night he invited us over for our kids to play and meet the Mrs.  Walking up the porch he hollers out hello sexy.  Nice condo, nice car….open the door meet the Mrs.  OMG she is a big lady, she is also signficantly older than I would expect a princess to be.  She is super sweet but is definitely not getting licked by me.  We’ll be friends though. They just moved here three weeks ago so she was very happy to meet us.  Though I feel a little guilty about it but I still wonder if he wants to bind me and spank my ass and I wonder if I’d let him. Only time will tell. Gotta be safe with that kinda of stuff.

How we got Larry…..

19 Jan

I thought I’d share with you another memory that makes my relationship with my fiancé…um….unique.  I consider myself now to be a professional.  I’m a Mother, a home owner, a banker and have some degree of authority at work.  I still love to goof off.  I try never to take myself to seriously.

One year for my company Christmas party we were at a historic restaurant.  Our party was in an upstairs banquet room with a bar and there was a neighboring room by the bathrooms that has a balcony overlooking the street below.  The building has been the sight of a historic speech by a political figure about 70 years ago or so.  Everything was old and they had many bucks mounted on the walls. 

The party was going well.  My fiancé was having fun with a few of my co-workers husbands.  I was pregnant and couldn’t drink so he was enjoying the liberty of having a DD.  From the start of the event our service from the restaurant was poor.  It got worse and the staff was not only slow but rude.  I see the men plotting something and I have to see what is going on.

They are all down by the bar debating how they will get a bucks head out of the restaurant.  I told them how to do it.  I left them be and went back to mingling with my co-workers and their spouses.  I don’t know if you’ve read my post Riding Dirty but if you have I’ve mentioned how it drives me crazy to hear someone go on about how they are going to do something that never happens.  The bucks head was turning into one of those situations.

The night was coming to an end.  The fellas had not come through on their silly idea.  It’s weird even with not drinking I felt the drunkenness of others rubbing off on me.  I instructed my fiance to ready the trunk.  I sent my friends husband down under the historic balcony.  I grabbed one of the bucks heads that was just laying around (there were three of them laying there plus maybe 15 on the walls).  I quietly took the screen off the window.  Worked the old window open and hoisted my pregnant ass out the window.  I maneuvered that horned bucks head outside with me.  I spotted my friends husband waiting below.  Made sure the coast was clear of any managers from my office or employees of the restaurant and heaved it over the railing.  Letting that thing drop was funny, the horns spun down and nearly impaled my friend waiting below.  A few co-workers caught the show and they were all sworn to secrecy.

Now we have Larry.  He is the mascot of my game room/garage.  Since he wasn’t mounted to a board he just kinda hangs out in the rafters looking down untill we can find a way to mount him. He fits right in with the pool table, dart board and video games.  He also makes for a great conversation piece.  I wonder how many fellas would tolerate this kind of behaviour from their lady?

When it piles up too high…..

28 Nov

Is it weird to be unhappy when things are going well?  Last night I started to straighten out my garage.  To describe it I would say it looks like hoarders lite.  I have a very small house and my garage is full of stuff.  Last night I decided at about 10 o’clock to put up the Halloween boxes up in the rafters and take down the X-mas goods.  To make room there had to be some cleaning done.  To my surprise my fiancé came out and helped.  He has been keeping the house tidy and keeping the kids busy.  There has been quite a change in him.  I think this might be due to him watching me leave Thanksgiving at 8 at night to go to work for minimum wage to make sure my boys have a Christmas and running water, but that’s just a guess. 

So as he’s cleaning we’re talking.  Things we uncover bring up fond memories and such.  We pause for a moment to smoke and I’m not busy enough to avoid looking into his eyes when we talk.  I can see him perk up.  I feel so bad now, I have all this guilt from the stuff I’m hiding from him and he’s happy to have me be nice.  It goes from talking to now he’s touching me.  Smacking my butt, pinching my sides with a little tickle.  He finds me cornered and says kiss me beautiful.  How could I not kiss him?

 I still have all these problems.  Even as we’re working he needs my direction to do anything.  It’s fully clear there are a million things to do I still don’t know why he cannot figure it out on his own.  The big man-child thing is just not sexy.  We ended up cleaning until 1:30am and afterwards going straight to bed.

So here I am again waffling.  I keep coming back to I can’t imagine a life with out him but I also can’t imagine a good life with him.  I need him to do something to change my perception or it’s gotta end.