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Another great lunch with my love…..

23 Oct

He texts me and tells me to call him once I leave the building at 3pm. I spot his truck.  Sun visor in the window and he has it running with the air on.  He tells me I am to enter the truck from the rear passenger side.  Take off his pants and suck his cock.  I will do as he wishes untill 3:33 and only address him as Daddy. 

I do as I’m told.  I almost go to kiss him but I redirect my eyes to his belt.  Undoing the belt, then button.  He helps me by lifting himself off of the seat to pull away his clothes.  Once he is naked I bend over and take him into my mouth.  Sucking and licking him lightly at first then taking a firm grip of his hard cock and stroking it as I suck and lick harder.  One hand playing with his balls while I stroke his cock faster and faster with the other.  I slow down to look into his eyes and see the look of pleasure on his face.  He enjoys my efforts for a while before having me get on my knees in the back seat. 

His fingers enter me and he’s working them in and out.  Rubbing my clit gently at first.  Then he stops.  There is a minute where I don’t know what he’s doing and then something rounded hard and cool enters my waiting pussy.  He starts to fuck me with this rigid toy.  The lube is warm and feels good.  His fingers find their way to my arse.  He starts to work that tight hole a little at a time.  My ass in the air, I’m moaning as he’s working me hard both with the toy and two fingers.  I can feel it starting to rise in me.  I’m moaning and cumming loud.  I can feel my body clenching on the toy as my pussy squeezes it with my long intense orgasm.  When I’m spent he takes his fingers back and then goes to remove the toy and due to my clenched muscles it was harder to get out than expected.  Then shoves his cock inside my wet swollen pussy and fucks me hard.  Giving me every inch of his cock.  It feels so amazing.  I’m so happy giving myself to him.  Telling him fuck me harder Daddy.

When he’s done using me he instructs me to sit down and he holds me and kisses me tenderly.  Stroking my body, telling me how amazing it was for him.  Music is playing, we can’t stay away from each other.  Touching while we look into each others eyes while we talk, kissing between sentences.  He shows me the toy, the surprise he brought for me.  It’s a deep indigo glass dildo.  It has three glass bubbles on the handle.  The shaft curves up sharply to hit the G-spot and at the end is a glass ball.  It was a great gift.  He said he will use it on me again and then will leave it behind for me to play with while he’s gone again.

Our time was up.  I straightened up and hopped out of the truck.  My legs were weak.  The sun was bright.  I walked back into my office to finish the day of work.  Once my office cleared out Tom would join me and chat with me while I finished the late shift.  From there we would go out and get a bite and a beer.

The arrival…..

1 Oct

I had the best weekend I can remember.  Tom is now driving back to his state.  A ten hour drive, 653 miles he will drive it in one shot.  Just like he did when he came to see me.  He left work early Thursday.  He loaded up his truck with the things he would need to help me and stopped by to say good bye to his wife before leaving town.  I talked with him on my lunch break until he lost signal. 

He said he should make it to town between midnight and one am.  When I got home I got busy.  Mopping, tidying up, getting the patio ready…I was getting things close to how I wanted them to be when my love arrived.  At 11 o’clock was just taking a break to prepare myself for his arrival a little orgasm to take the edge off my nerves and freshen up some.  

My phone had frozen up so I turned it off and pant’s off in my bedroom I turned it back on.  This new phone boots up quick.  Instantly I see I have a picture message.  It’s my house numbers.  I call him.  Stuttering ,”How did you get here so fast? oh my god I’m not ready.”.  I’m putting on pants as I’m walking to the door.  I let my dogs out first so they don’t wake the children as they get to know him. 

They seem unphased by him.  I grab him seconds after they sniff him and we hold each other tight kissing passionately.  I take him into the house.  I can’t remember if I gave him a tour.  I know we ended up in the bedroom.  I had not yet made the bed.  It didn’t matter we locked the door and kissed like teenagers.  So happy to be together again.  I started to undo his belt, his pants…he stood up and took them off.  I took off everything.  We pressed against each other savoring the skin to skin contact we’d been longing for.  I slid down and started to lick him and kiss him.  Finally taking him into my mouth giving him a very attentive blow job.  I’m paying attention to the details.  Caressing his balls as I suck him deeply, creating a rhythm with my hand and mouth.  Keeping as much suction as I can.  Taking him deep and cramming his cock against the back of my throat.  Letting him trust up as much as he would like into my waiting mouth while he grips a fist full of my hair.  I’m so wet.  I hear what I’ve been waiting for the change in his breathing.  He says,” Oh, fuck yeah baby I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”. I feel him starting to ease off thrusting and then my mouth is filled with his seed.  I suck and lick and keep him moaning for as long as I can.  He never gets soft.  He’s still ready to fuck me. 

I lay next to him and I feel euphoric too.  We are both just enjoying the afterglow of an amazing blow job.  It’s the first time he’s cum in my mouth from head alone and I’m loving it.  He is still hard.  I am still horny.  After a little rest we’re kissing and touching again.  He’s rubbing my pussy and I’m so wet.  His fingers feel amazing.  He gets between my legs and starts rubbing me with the head of his cock.  He’s driving me madd and then he suddenly slides into me all the way making me gasp.  He’s fucking me slowly and deep.  It feels amazing.  Something I’ve been waiting for so long.  The rhythm gets faster, my legs are up on his shoulders and I’m squeezing my thighs together and he’s getting that look.  I swear I feel his cock swell before he says he’s cumming again.  When he’s to the point he can no longer thrust I use my legs to pull up against his dick.  The pressure causing him to moan each time I pull up.  We lay together for a short while before showering up and dressing again.

Since the boys are home he cannot stay with me.  We cuddle for a few minutes but he is sleepy from the 10 hour drive to my home.  His hotel will not be ready until the next day at 2pm so I give him a blanket and a pillow and he says he will sleep in his truck.  He will stay by my office so I can see  him before work and at lunch.  I’ll be working late the next day and he has plans for us.  I see him out and go to sleep so excited for tomorrow.

Doin’ stuff and getting stuff….

19 Sep

I’ve gotten a lot done recently.  I put in a lawn, cleaned my car, straightened up and organized most of my house.  Got my hair cut. Yesterday alone I went to court and got the restraining order against Dick adjusted to make it easy to go to events for the children and allow him to use my home to see them when the rain comes.  It will be in place for three years.  I went to the doctor and with a little fight and two appointments I got an IUD.  I purchased needed clothing for my growing five year old, gassed up the car and got some wine that was on a great sale.  I went to the bank and got money for my fathers space rent and got a secured card to start to rebuild my credit after the bankrupcy.  After all that I made a delicious dinner did some laundry and cleaned the house a bit.  Staying busy is great now if I can incorporate some sociableness into this I will be one happy girl.

Tom has insisted on taking care of me.  He sent me a sprinkler and a timer that has made my life much easier.  When I found out my phone company was not replacing my phone for free he insisted on buying me a new one.  I felt very guilty about this.  However he is very sure he wants to do this for me and he explained that the smart phone kept our contact on a much more fun and convenient level.  He said he was willing to spend up to $600!!!  Yeah freaked me out too.  I was able to convince my phone company to let me upgrade early and give me an upgrade price for my new top of the line phone.  It only cost $200 it’s still more of a gift then I think I’ve ever taken from someone who is not blood and I think it cost more than my engagement ring.

After that last post taking such a kind gift felt really bad at first but he reminded me I picked up the hotel for our first meeting and our meeting in Sac.  When his funds fell short and we could have found ourselves having lunch at Subway I made sure we went someplace we would both really enjoy.  My thinking was that we had so little time together that I wanted to make everything as nice as possible and Subway is usually my last resort.  So I am excited to say I’ll be connected again soon!  Having no internet access at home sucks.

(Un)reasonable doubt……

19 Sep

This feels weird to write but it’s how I feel. My love, this wonderful man who loves me dearly and is going to move 700 miles to date me I am feeling unsure about our future. It might just be due to the turmoil I’m going through. I look forward to the fun we will have, the experiences we will share and the life we can build together with both of us working hard. Something in me is loosing the enthusiasm I once had. It might just be my own lack of confidence. Things have changed, some days I’m not sure if I’m wanting to talk.  Some times I feel pulled away from cleaning and days where I’m with my family and I don’t talk to him I get the feeling he is getting upset because I’m not making time for him.  However that might just be in my head from how I was trained to be with Dick.

He is starting to make little moves in his own life towards leaving his wife, his state and his job.  Cleaning out old things, paying off debt, having talks with his wife.  It is making it all more real.  We talked that we would date.  That I should date other men and he should date women.  His dating he has put into the less important category because he has been single as an adult he has dated and he says he knows what he wants and that is me.  Where I have no real experience, I need to squelch any what if’s and see if there is a better match.  I worry what if there is or worse what if there is a superficial match and I don’t see the douche in them.  Above all what if he changes his whole life to be with me and it doesn’t happen. 

Tom went on a romantic get away with his wife.  It was more of an attempt to see if there was a spark as they both have talked about feeling like good friends not husband and wife.  He said that they did do a bit of kissing at the start but there was virtually nothing else.  She didn’t try to cuddle up to him, hold his hand or initiate anything sexual.  It was her time of the month but there are other ways to be intimate with your husband and he said there was not so much as a hand in his lap.  He called me most of the trip.  Telling me how much he loves me and misses me.  I was cleaning one night with my Dad and was not near my phone and he called maybe three times and by the last call he sounded pretty disappointed that I had not answered.  I am even feeling that he’s needing much more attention than he has ever required even outside of this trip.  That is probably normal and the effects of the risks and changes he is taking. 

I wonder if all this stems from me starting a relationship at the wrong time.  He could really be what I’ve thought for the last year or so…..the best thing that ever happened to me.  I still wonder if my attachment came from having such a horrible situation.  Or maybe that I’m afraid of loneliness and not finding anyone else.  We are very different but a lot of the same.  With that said he is very different from Dick.  There will be no crazy tweekers, no douchey idiots that we hang out with and party, no doing coke together and he probably will not get along with a lot of the acquaintances that I probably need to get rid of anyway.  Those things are kinda scary.

These feelings come and go.  In fact since I started writing this Monday they have gone away again and I’m super excited to see him and eventually date him and possibly live the rest of my life with him.  I hope this is all normal and not just a away that my subconscious is warning me.  Only time will tell.  After I get a new life in order with Dick as a co-parent instead of someone I have to worry about every interaction I think things will start to level off.

What’s going on with my Ex (Dick)…..

4 Sep

Up to this point….hmmm I have a restraining order that includes a move out order in place against Dick.  He refused to commit to leaving so I had to force it.  Plus every conversation seemed to degrade into him calling me names a break and then teary apologies for how he just treated me.  He’s taking muscle relaxers, pain pills, mood stabilizers and anti anxiety drugs.  That is on top of smoking weed and taking heart and diabetes medicine and it’s just a matter of time until he gets shit housed again.  I truly worry that all these things could make him snap under this stress.

He is working for a tweaker tattoo artist wh0 we hung out with a lot before his life went down the shitter and became a tweaker.  He was to be living in a trailer out back of the guys antique shop but things went South quick.  The second night he was gone I got a text that the guy broke Dick’s guitars, amp and pedals or something and locked him out.  Dick does have my car.  He went back to work for him.  Part of the work is putting things on Ebay and the money goes into a joint account Dick and I share.  I get a long text from the tattoo artist that Dick has done him wrong that I should tell him how to find him he could fix my problems and make Dick disappear and by the way he knows where I live.  I talk to Dick and he says that not only is this guy threatening his life but mine and the boys.  This is over bucks!  I tell Dick to fix this now or I will put the kids somewhere and handle it myself.  He says he’s sick and throwing up but he will fix it.  I talk to Tom about it and he says some one threatens my family I would hit them upside the head with a 2×4.  Tom isn’t the type to be mixed up with this type of person however I can belive he would take care of business if forced.  I a moment of weakness I texted Dick: Are you going to step up and hit **** for threatening your family or do you only hit girls?  Of course I got no response.  He paid the guy his money and then went back to work for him the next day. 

I don’t know where he stays.  I don’t know when he’ll want to see the kids next.  I don’t know when he will get his fucking shit out of my house.  It’s all very weird.  I do know I’ll see him at the court date later on this month.  I wonder how it will go.  I just need him to stay moved out and not to freak out.  He has done very well so far.  I don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid of the courts and police or if he’s just as done as I am.  We will see soon.

Post 200 and time for a new name……

3 Sep

This is my 200th post!  I can’t belive I’ve written so much and I love to look back at how this weird wonderful love story has unfolded.  I started out sad and stuck but full of excitement and lust for this man who is unlike anyone I’d ever met.  I was torn, knowing what I was doing was wrong by my standards.  Torn about whether my relationship with Dick was worth saving or it was just too toxic to exist.  I look back and I can see my lust and curiosity with Tom turned into caring and loving.  My desire to have him in my life changed from a rescue me with your solid hard working sweet ways to knowing I don’t have to be saved that he will enhance the life I will build on my own. 

I plan to write more, once I can access my home PC or buy a lap top (Dick password protected the home PC and now I cannot log on).  I’ve been trying to be more focused at work however now I have a bunch of side things to do with courts, bills and child care.  So my writing and reading time is low but I intend to come back and write more because I love being able to look back and see how things have changed.  To read how I’ve felt about Tom and myself and even Dick.   

So now I’m not torn.  I feel sure of my path whether it is with Tom or not I need to build a good life for my kids, my dogs and I without Dick.  I will have some set backs and confusion but I won’t feel torn like I did when I started this blog.  I’m thinking I need a new name.  I was hoping to get a fw comments with suggestions.  I have not yet put any thought into it other than my name no longer fits my situation.

The first night in his domain….

31 Jul

The bands were good.  Someone skated the half pipe and fell a few times but didn’t get hurt.  They had 22s of my favorite beer.  I met a nice girl that works at a clothing consignment and second hand store.  Met some of the friends he has told me about.  Hung out with the preggo gal and her friends.  Tom chatted with some people away from me.  It was a different dynamic than I am used to.  The freedom not to be by my date’s side and not having to worry about how it will effect my night if I’m not shadowing him all the time. 

I smoked that night.  I bummed a cig the first time I smoked.  The next time I asked a fella and one of the girls I’d been talking to said, “You asked the wrong dude.  He’s the biggest bum.”  So being playful I asked him to bum a cig for me.  He did and we all chatted.  He is a funny little guy a drummer from a band and had a tattoo of a drumming panda on his arm.  We went in for a while and enjoyed the band.  They sounded great.  The energy in the room was awesome.  After a while we went back outside.  I talked with my drummer friend and Tom chatted with the girls.  The drummer guy’s buddy a singer for one of the bands they are in together came over. 

This is a punk show.  I’m not very punk. I’m more of a rock-a-billy, metal, Cali girl combo.  They started talking about my outfit.  I’m wearing a black Lucky 13 tank top with a little green loose knitted sweater and a pair of slightly baggy wide leg torn up washed out light blue jeans.  I’m from California so I’m wearing flip flops, simple black.  I’ve got black hair, betty bangs, red lips, cat eyes and little plugs.  They start in about my pants and shoes.  I should be wearing tight black jeans worn in, some chucks and not a brand name tank.  I’m teasing them back that I look good and they look like shit.  They start saying from here up beautiful, hand slicing me at my waist, from here down needs work.  They spin me arround, but you have a nice ass, front side great boobs. Here let me take off that sweater he says, it was hooked with a safety pin behind the button so he bit it off.  He’s clearly drunk but he’s funny and I’m teasing him.  Out of nowhere Tom comes through the guys and grabs me right at the sides of my boobs and guides me through those two and back to his truck.

I’m giggling the whole way.  Tom said he was done with the show.  He wanted to get me alone.  We make out in the car for a bit.  Those arousal pills were making me feel even more ready than I thought.  We’re touching and kissing on the drive home.  He grabs some towels and we head for the hot tub.  The night sky is beautiful.  We get in nude and start kissing.  I don’t know if it’s the pills or the night or the excitement to be with him again but it’s AMAZING.  I’m riding him as we’re kissing, half floating away and pulling myself back down hard.  Grinding, getting chills and tingles. 

He takes me upstairs and we’re fucking every which way.  Licking and sucking.  Touching and pushing.  He starts to play with my ass and I return the favor.  I decide to let him try again.  I have him get the lube and we go slow.  I talk him through it.  Oh, my it was hard.  He is very thick and it took more work than I thought to get him inside of me.  It was amazing but still surprising.  Once he felt comfortable he started to thrust harder.  I had to direct him to slow down.  This seems to be something I do when I’m tipsy so I threw caution to the wind and let him go back to fucking my pussy where he could thrust hard.  After a bit more fun he let me know he was cumming and I took him into my mouth.  I worked every last bit out of him as he moaned and his body shuddered against me.  He held me breathlessly and told me how wonderful it felt.  I told him how much I love him and that it was perfect for me too.  I was happy to be his first.  We fell asleep easily in each others arms.

Getting to know each other in a whole new way….

4 Jul

When we got home from camping we went to my Mom’s house for a BBQ and some swimming.  We got home late and I got the kids down rather quickly.  Since our dogs had been cooped up that was the perfect excuse to get out of the house so I could call Tom.

We talked for two hours.  It was a lot.  He sounded so concerned and serious.  At times even nervous and on edge.  With all that I could hear the love in his voice too.  I voiced my concern about the seemly sudden change in him and asked him why.  Tom told me he had felt that way for a long time now.  That he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to influence my situation with my now ex-fiance. 

He let me know that his wife is a very good girl.  He loves her for it, but their love is turning into more of a friendship.  That he wants more in a marriage to be truly happy on all levels.  The thought of hurting her kills him but with me or without me he needs to move on. Spontaneity was one of the things he mentioned enjoying with me that he doesn’t have at home. He told me that since we’d met he and his wife had only made love two times.  I asked him if he’d talked to her about it? Can they work it out?   He was resolute in telling me that it is just her way and he doesn’t want her to change who she is to be what he needs.  My heart sank a little for the both of them but I do understand. 

We talked about getting to know each other.  He didn’t know my middle name and I had forgotten his.  Both of us intend to find the right person to spend the rest of our lives with and we needed to be sure before any big steps were taken.  Now don’t get all excited that we are running away together next week.  We both have a lot on our plates.  His father lives with him and he won’t want to move.  He must finish caring for his Dad before he can consider moving to California.  I will have to get an arrangement set with my ex and honestly need to be a grown up on my own.  To come into my own before we decide to start a life together.  I do want to go on a few dates.  That may seem odd from what you’ve read about my love for Tom, but I feel like if I don’t explore the adult dating world I might have that what if in the back of my head if I didn’t at least see what it’s like.  He also would go on dates too. 

Our next few conversations would go like this.  I would read into his voice a seriousness and a certain amount of apprehension or concern that seemed very different to me.  I was worried and felt very bad that maybe reading all those 180 and posts in less than a week was tweaking his brain.  In those first few talks I almost felt he was sizing up the chances for us to work.  Looking for my definitive answer.  Worried that it could be a no.

  On my part I felt a strange urgency to give myself to him to let him know everything I could about me.  How I am from day to day.  What can I let him know to show my flaws or things that might rub him the wrong way?  How horrible my ex might be and how I’ll probably be financially stretched taking care of the boys with most likely no help from their father.  No amount of words can really let us know what it will be like living with the other person.  Our intention is to try to learn as much as possible until we can spend more time together.  Taking things one step at a time over the next few years to see if this is going to work in real life.

Motorcars and Old Town bars….

23 Jun

The next morning waking up together was wonderful.  Kissing and fooling arround.  Cuddling and caressing.  How I’ve missed those things.  After a while I was hungry so I went down and got breakfast for us both from the hotel buffet.  He’s not a breakfast guy but I love breakfast, he was kinda enough to eat with me even though it was less than awesome.  We got showered and dressed and set out early on a long walk to the automotive history museum. 

The walk was long and there was very little shade.  The navigation program on my phone kept changing it’s mind but it gave us even more reasons to stop and kiss along the way.  I loved grabbing his but as we walked along and I he really liked it too.  I know I’m very different than what he has at home so it’s fun to make him feel so special in a way he doesn’t normally.  It’s so nice to be with someone and be completely comfortable to want to accept their embrace and affection.  I can feel myself getting used to it and I know it’s dangerous.

We finally reach our destination hot and sun baked.  The place is a HUGE garage no AC but some swamp coolers and fans.  I love old cars and so does he.  There is some amazing stuff we can see right off the bat.  It starts with the horseless carages from the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.  They are almost unreal they are so cool.  I so wanted to hop in one their seats look like antique sofas.  He’s telling me about how they work.  Pointing out the more interesting details of them.  Here and there I find myself in front of a swamp cooler and when he sees me I pull up my shirt to give him a little peek, with the museum practically empty it felt safe enough.  We move on to the cars from the 1950’s and that is where we’re looking more at the details.  The original prices $2,500 or $4,800 for an old Cadi.  We’re talking motors or more like I’m getting info from him and asking questions.

They had a real Shelby Cobra!  Two of them to be exact.  To you gear heads out there you know when you see one it’s almost always a fiberglass kit remake.  This one was honest to goodness alumium body orignal.  It was a sight to behold.  I liked the old 1960’s muscle and we came across one of the original Hemi’s I realized I know you want a Hemi in your Mopar but I didn’t know why they were so awesome.  I asked and of course he knew.  He explained to me the details of how it worked and as I’m looking at him all stary eyed and asking questions he smiles and says you really care don’t you.  Well duh?  Why else would I ask?  It was so cute and earned me another kiss and a little butt squeeze.  There were cars from random famous people.  It was just a fun trip, so glad I found it and took him there.

We walked back to Old Town and we were looking for a place to eat when I see this cute little bartender in a Sports Bar.  He is shocked at how quick I spotted her and says lets sit at the bar and eat here.  I tried to open some conversation.  She had this cute orange hair and pretty green eyes.  She looked like she would be fun to hang out with and she had a fun Jackalope tattoo with a cute carrot next to it.  Charming.  We kept a pleasant conversation.  When another regular patron came in she mentioned to him that her and her boyfriend got a dog.  My hopes of a date fell flat but we kept chatting anyway.  I asked her a bit about the local scene and she gave us a few bars to check out.  Tom even asked if she would go out tonight and she said maybe and told us where if she was going to go.  We left it at that.  Lunch was good and I was ready to get back to the hotel for a dip in the pool.

I’ve waited so long….

18 Jun

I took off work from Friday the previous week.  It felt like my vacation hadn’t begun even though I was off.  All I could think about was Tuesday.  Being in his arms again.  I worked hard arround my house.  Took the kids out but my mind always on him. 

Tuesday morning I left early.  We were staying about two hours from my house but he was at his friend’s house about an hour from me.  I’m about 30 minutes away when he texts me the door’s unlocked and I’m upstairs.  Reading it gives me a rush of excitement.  I press the accelerator to the floor and I can’t get there fast enough. 

I walk into the house and it’s so quiet.  I give a little hello before walking upstairs.  I hear music and follow it to see my love lying in a soft welcoming bed with his laptop.  He looks so handsome and his smile is amazing.  I slide into bed next to him and we hold each other tight.  We’re kissing and rubbing.  Touching and caressing.  The relief I feel in his arms is so wonderful. He pulls away and looks into my eyes and tells me he loves me.  How it makes me melt.

Before I know it I’m on top of him.  In my clothes riding him, grinding against him, driving myself crazy.  His eager hands slip under the front of my shirt and then around back unhooking my bra.  I sit up straight and slip off my shirt and bra slowly as his hands slide back up my body and start caressing my bare breasts.  He sits up to kiss my flesh and tease my nipples with little kisses, sucking lightly on them. 

I hop off the bed and wiggle off my work slacks giving him a little show.  He’s naked while I climb back on top of him.  We’re kissing again and he’s pushing up against my wet slit.  I’m pulling my hips up making him reach, making him wait.  His hands on my skin pulling me down I can feel how much he wants me and it feels so good.  Finley I have to give in, I want him so badly as well.  He’s making me moan.  I’m riding him hard now, pressing my clit against his body and taking him deep inside.  After a bit of fun I slide down and snuggle him and we kiss again.  He plays with the music on his lap top and puts on the Cramps and sets the lap top down again.

He looks in my eyes and rolls over stroking my hair and starts kissing me again.  He slides between my legs and enters me and gives me what I want.  Hard and deep and fast.  I’m yelling his name.  Panting thank you as he fucks me hard.  He moves between my legs straddling one while pushing my other off to the side and hits the spots you can’t fuck with a vibrator.  Making me cum so nicely.  He’s talking to me telling me how good I feel around his shaft.  Telling me he’s going to cum for me.  I feel him tense up and I buck against him hungrily.  As he slows I grind against him, I feel his warmth gushing into me and I love it.  He collapses on me and we hold each other.  So happy to be together again.