A brief update…..

14 Aug

I still haven’t finished writing about my week with Tom.  My chaos is stealing my concentration at work.  I wanted to give a brief update.  After a few days of volatility with Dick things have leveled off.  He is seeing that it’s not just my affair that has ruined us.  He refused to listen to my concerns and needs.  He refused to grow up.  He’s been in crisis therapy all week.  He says that he had been thinking about killing himself but won’t mainly so he won’t cause the boys heart ache but also because his counselor told him that children from families with a suicide are 50% more likely to try suicide.  The group therapy he likened to Fight Club, he is the only one sobbing. 

My family is handling child care and they are pushing for me to put my foot down hard.  My step dad wanted the locks changed.  I considered a restraining order before Dick calmed down and they thought it was a good idea and started to gather the pictures they’d gathered over the years of black eyes and broken stuff.   They tell me I don’t owe him and want me to not give him more money. 

The situation with Olaf blew up.  I think I will detail it in another post but to summarise it almost made Tom cut off contact with me for the period while his daughter is with him.  That is for the next three weeks or so.  My heart hurt and we talked through it but I have chosen to be sensitive to Toms feelings and have no physical contact with Olaf though I made sure I could be his friend.  We can talk by phone and text but are to stay off of sexual topics. 

Work is hard.  I make decisions for a living.  I’m staring at my work having trouble making the decisions I need to make.  Another huge part is talking to our clients…a lot of talking.  That has been tough but it’s getting better and I have the support of the managers and my co-workers as I make my way though this shit storm. 

Things are going to get better.  It will be hard but it’s for the best.  Dick isn’t gone yet but I miss him in a way already.  The boys strangely don’t seem phased that they are not in his care but they do see him often.  I wonder how it will go when he is across the country and they only talk on the phone and Skype for I don’t know how long.  We still need to explain to them what is going to happen.  I belive it needs to be something we do together with love.  I don’t want them to wonder I want them to hear from both of us it has nothing to do with them and we love them more than anything.

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2 Responses to “A brief update…..”

  1. B August 15, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    I hope you make it through this and well you have support. He needs to get his own support to sort this out. Best advice be upfront with your kids, when my parents divorced I told my parents I saw it coming a mile away. They were surprised that as a child I understood that maybe this wan’st the best situation for them. Kids do eventually begin to understand and they are more forgiving if you tell them upfront.

  2. The Hook August 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    I know chaos… Believe me!

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