Archive | August, 2012

Checking in….

26 Aug

I will have to be brief.  I’m busy at work as usual.  I have my dogs with me today.  I’ve been staying at my Mom’s house since Friday so they have been neglected.  Poor puppies I will get things together and make sure there is time for them to.  I love them so.

My oldest son started Kindergarden this week.  He is doing great and is very excited.  I’ve met a few parents and will keep trying to make some connections so he can have a group of play mates he’s also dying for a sleep over.  I know that will come later but gotta start somewhere right? 

So the start of school was the marker that would be Dick’s time to leave.  I asked him to leave by that Friday night and he said he needs another week.  No couches to crash on, no place for him to go he needs to stay with us.  He is working for tattoo guy who runs and antique store.  He is also running the EBay side of the guys business.  I told him Thursday if he wasn’t gonna leave Friday and start staying somewhere else I would file a restraining order in the morning.  He still wouldn’t say he would leave.  I went to type up the papers and he had password protected our PC no word for me.  So I gathered our things and went to my Mom’s and used hers to type up the description of abuse and spell check it.

Friday morning still he hasn’t told me he would stay elsewhere.  I take my boy to school and get coffee while my little one and Dick are at the house.  He texted me did you file papers on me.  I said no.  I told him the little guy and I were going out.  He got in the shower.  I put the copy of the request for a restraining order in his (my) car and left.  I went to the courts.  All morning they said you need to fill this out and fix that..an hour and a half and I have changed the docs a lot.  Now I must give him notice again.

I drive by his work.  The car is not there.  I call him and say I’ve worked with the courts and I need to give him papers.  I explain it’s not an order but he needs a copy.  After about 20 minutes he meets me.  Says he left that he’s gone.  I told him you didn’t tell me how was I to know.  I told him I need to do this. He calls me a low life cunt.  He leans into my car and says to my three year old that Daddy can’t see you any more because Mommy won’t let him.  I told him that I just need him to stay away and not call me names and talk to our kids inappropriately.  I will let him see them.

I go to the courts to file where I see my step-brother in a suit.  He’s going through a child custody trial that includes restraining orders.  There is bad blood with him and my Step-Dad so I was not aware of this.  We told eachother we would be in touch so the kids could play.  I went in and filed.  I will know Monday at 2pm if the Judge will grant me relief. 

I have only talked to Dick by text.  He text-ed me tattoo guy had a melt down and broke some of Dick’s stuff and then locked him out.  He also called last night to talk to the boys.  I let it go to voice mail and text-ed him I would call.  I did they said good night.  No tears, no long drawn out stuff just good night I love you and then they passed the phone on.  It’s weird, he was their primary care giver and they don’t ask about him.  They are happy and their behavior is improving.  The waiting is killing me but I know this is for the best and I have a lot of support. 

River daze…..

15 Aug

My love had to work on Thursday.  He gave me his truck again and like last time he left me his nice sunglasses as I didn’t have any.  I had talked to a few people and we had planned to float the river.  I’ve floated the local river where I live.  We take truck inner tubes and coolers of beer or drink bottles of mixed drinks and its a flashing trail of debauchery.  We make stops to drink and smoke weed and it’s crazy.  Well they do it different.  There are lot’s of floaters and you launch and land in designated parks.  There is talk of floating police looking for people drinking.  different but I’m still so excited to go.

So the singer for the band that got Tom and I together Randy, the pregnant girl who works at Adam and Eve Mandy, her friend who we met at the bar Moon and Will’s fun lesbian friend that he kisses some times Shawn are going to be the floating crew.  I meet up with Mandy first and we get together our sandwiches, fruit, waters and some box wine. We grab Randy and then head over to get our floats.  Moon was already following us in her truck.  We make it to the first park and we’re waiting for Shawn.  We eat lunch, chit chat…and wait and wait….she finaly shows up and we’re HOT and ready. 

Everyone loads into Tom’s truck and I drive our crew to the drop in point.  While I park they blow up our rafts. There is air compressors at the park.  Freakin’ sweet!  I’m in a raft with Moon.  Shawn is on her own on a lounger.  Mandy and Randy are together.  The river is fast and kinda chilly.  There are families with young kids floating in nice rafts with life vests.  It’s cool but weird.  I have our wine out of the box in just a bag.  I have two juice bottles that I’m using for the wine. 

Right off the bat I let us hit the trees on the shore getting a good laugh.  Shawn pops the back on her lounger and comes aboard with Moon and I.  I am doing terrible on paddling and managing the lounger.  I hop overboard and float on the backless lounger.  I get left behind for a bit but we find a way to catch up.  My fruit is now in the bottom of the raft.  The wine is starting to do the trick and I’ve now popped the main part of the lounger so I come aboard with the girls.  Shawn is our captain and she is hilarious.  We catch up to Mandy and Randy.  He is navigating perfectly and his lovely passenger is enjoying the ride.  Tom had given me his water proof camera so I’m taking pics and having a great time.  At one point Shawn slips up and runs us right into a tree.  That I straight arm and push us away from saving our raft!  We hit so hard that I broke the plastic juice cap that I had in my hand. Moon flashes Mandy and Mandy misses it.  We get her attention and I tease Randy not to look and flash with Moom.  He does good and doesn’t look!  A little later Moon falls out and I go to save her but I grab her leg and inadvertently hold her under a little longer that if I hadn’t tried to help her. 

The trip was great everyone was so cool.  We really wanted to just do it again.  As we pack into the trucks I tell Randy how proud I am that he didn’t look.  He’s Tom’s good friend so he goes on about respect for Tom.  I tease him again and give him a good flash.  I tell him Tom is OK with it and I was just being silly.  Shaun needed me to bring her something from the truck so after every one separated I went back to Shawn’s house and had a puff of weed and played some ping pong.  She is so sweet.  Mandy had invited us to dinner at her house and I didn’t commit because Tom and I really wanted to cook together and tonight was our last chance at dinner.  It was a great day and I was looking forward to another great night with him.

A brief update…..

14 Aug

I still haven’t finished writing about my week with Tom.  My chaos is stealing my concentration at work.  I wanted to give a brief update.  After a few days of volatility with Dick things have leveled off.  He is seeing that it’s not just my affair that has ruined us.  He refused to listen to my concerns and needs.  He refused to grow up.  He’s been in crisis therapy all week.  He says that he had been thinking about killing himself but won’t mainly so he won’t cause the boys heart ache but also because his counselor told him that children from families with a suicide are 50% more likely to try suicide.  The group therapy he likened to Fight Club, he is the only one sobbing. 

My family is handling child care and they are pushing for me to put my foot down hard.  My step dad wanted the locks changed.  I considered a restraining order before Dick calmed down and they thought it was a good idea and started to gather the pictures they’d gathered over the years of black eyes and broken stuff.   They tell me I don’t owe him and want me to not give him more money. 

The situation with Olaf blew up.  I think I will detail it in another post but to summarise it almost made Tom cut off contact with me for the period while his daughter is with him.  That is for the next three weeks or so.  My heart hurt and we talked through it but I have chosen to be sensitive to Toms feelings and have no physical contact with Olaf though I made sure I could be his friend.  We can talk by phone and text but are to stay off of sexual topics. 

Work is hard.  I make decisions for a living.  I’m staring at my work having trouble making the decisions I need to make.  Another huge part is talking to our clients…a lot of talking.  That has been tough but it’s getting better and I have the support of the managers and my co-workers as I make my way though this shit storm. 

Things are going to get better.  It will be hard but it’s for the best.  Dick isn’t gone yet but I miss him in a way already.  The boys strangely don’t seem phased that they are not in his care but they do see him often.  I wonder how it will go when he is across the country and they only talk on the phone and Skype for I don’t know how long.  We still need to explain to them what is going to happen.  I belive it needs to be something we do together with love.  I don’t want them to wonder I want them to hear from both of us it has nothing to do with them and we love them more than anything.

Putting on a little show….

6 Aug

After getting back to Tom’s house from the bar we hopped into the hot tub and made some waves.  The night sky was beautiful and it was cold.  He was so kind to wrap the towel around me as I got out and we went upstairs.  We started fooling arround in the bed and he asked if I wanted to broadcast on AFF.  After a few minutes of messing with the laptop to get it to show our live feed we were happily on camera kissing and caressing. 

We watched our viewers numbers climb as he caressed my breasts and sucked and bit my nipples.  I found the right angle to give a good show as I sucked his cock.  Hundreds of people tuning in within minutes.  I miss having the chat on while we fooled arround but last time we tried it caused the broadcast to crash so we kept it off and focused on each other instead of what our audience was saying.  He had me sit on his face while I continued to work his cock making for a very interesting view with my ass in the air.  As we moved I gave a little full frontal shot while he fingered my freshly shaved pussy with one hand and squeezed my big tits with the other.  By the time he was fucking me from behind, my boobs bouncing to his beat I was looking into the camera at 700 viewers.  We played a little more and then we decided to finish in private and turned off the show. 

It was thrilling and fun but next time I want to see what the people tuned in are saying.  It makes it that much hotter to hear them comment on our good time.

It ends not with a whimper but with a bang…..

5 Aug

I still have a night and two days to write about from my last visit with Tom.  We had so much fun.  I feel so at home, so at ease with him.  We wanted to make our time like real life but we couldn’t.  We went out and had fun every night. We never cooked or worked on anything together but we thorourghly enjoyed our time.  It brought us even close together.  With that said I have had a huge change in my life and need to write it out. 

I have been visting with Olaf a bit more than I should.  Not that Tom is upset with it but he has been finding it in his heart to how to deal with our connection.  I have kept Tom in the loop and I have expressed to Olaf my feelings for Tom.  I have also let Olaf know that sometimes his feelings come off stronger than I am comfortable with and I don’t want to lead him on or hurt him.  I feel an attraction and a strong friendship but it is going to be second to my love for Tom. 

So as you know I’ve kissed Olaf.  We’ve also met several times in the night and he has spanked my ass very nicely.  We talk about a lot our past relationships, my current situation, the kids, his current situation, BDSM, music.  He’s becoming a good friend and with my current situation having someone who knows what’s going on that I can open up to is a huge release.  

Olaf and his wife have discussed his polyamorous nature and she is not able to come to terms with it so the are living as very good friends.  She is in love with him but he loves her but without any infatuation.  Their sexual desires are not aligned either.  So now he is free to date and has evenings and weekends available to do as he pleases.  This all started because of the kiss we shared, he discussed this with Dick and I on the porch the other day but leaving out that the interest, the girl was me. 

I was texting with him advice on how to get things moving with Dick.  That I was going to speak to him and set a deadline to either move out locally or fly home to his Mommy.  Olaf suggested I have a more solid plan and he wanted to talk to me help me plan.  Alright I set the stage take off to clear my mind with a drive.  I take a journal with me that has suff about my relationship at home and with Tom and Olaf just incase I want to make notes or refer him to my past writings.  The journal never gets used.  We talk and have a nice night and it ends with a few kisses and a nice spanking.

I get home late and Dick is playing video games.  Chair in the middle of the  room close to the TV and bong on the table next to him.  The kids nestled in their beds sleeping.  He wants to watch TV with me so I sit and leave my purse in the kitchen.  I doze off quickly and wake up to him screaming in my face who is Tom!!!  Over and over.  Calling me names, lying cheating whore, fucking cunt, slut, disgusting cow…yelling that I kissed Olaf who was supposed to be his friend.  He’s over me eyes wide and all I can say is don’t hurt me.  He yells it back don’t hurt you??? I say physically don’t hurt me.  He moves away and takes my journal shredding it.  He did it to my diary too when we first dated.  It had accounts of the boys I fooled arround with before him and it made him angry so he destroyed that recount of my past too. 

He’s running arround yelling.  He goes into the kitchen and grabs a wooden chair and holds it over his head.  I think he’s going to hit me with it so I cower.  He smashes it into the ground.  I’m responding to his yelling that I would never have done it if he treated me right.  I was faithful for 14 years and I told him to leave, I told him I don’t want him.  That my lover isn’t moving in the second he steps out the door.  I need to be alone.  I want him gone.  He smashes the chair on the ground again and storms into the garage.  I text Olaf he only lives a few streets over and Dick could be there in a heart beat.  He tells me Dick is already on the phone with him cussing him out.  There is nothing left to do.  It’s 2:30am in the morning and I have to work the next day.  I work alone on the weekends there is no calling in sick. 

I lay in my bed trying to rest and he comes in yelling.  He takes the mattress and picks the thing up over his head and tosses me off and throws it on top of me.  I’m starting to get scared I’m thinking I need to call the police and then I hear the knock.  I think it’s Olaf but when Dick opens the door it’s the police.  He moves the bong and we step outside.  We tell them I haven’t been touched and they let us know more than one home has called them.  They question us both separately and the one that is with Dick asks if he’s intoxicated.  He says no, the officer says last time I came you were shit faced and peeing in the closet before you hit your old lady.  The officer watching over me gestures to the bong and they over to Dick.  I say it’s his, he asks if I smoke and I said on occasion.  He asks if there is a grow here.  I tell him no (well not now anyway it’s shut down but all the stuff is still there). 

They decide he should leave.  So he goes.  Takes the car and gone into the night.  The boys were snuggled quietly in their beds when I checked on them and went to sleep.  I got up early and called my Mom she says I can take the kids to her so I can work.  I tell her the cliff notes and head off to work.  Waiting to see what Dick will do next.

Aside

Smooth….

5 Aug

Tom held me close for a long while.  Stroking my hair and skin.  Kissing here and there.  He brought up something I had asked him about while planning for this trip.  He asked if I’d like him to shave me.  I said yes and was very excited to have him do it.  We talked about how it should be done and where to do it.  I sat in a standard bathtub but the angle was wrong.  In the master bath there is a large whirlpool tub with a little shelf just slightly bigger than ass size.  I was able to sit there as he sat in the tub.  My legs spread wide toes resting on either side of the tub.  He’d take a cup of warm water and pour it over my spread pussy.  Then rub in the shaving cream with gentile deliberate placement.  He took care to follow the patter of hair growth.  Studying my anatomy and being careful not to nick my slick flesh.  It was more erotic than I had thought it would be.  I let him know now he can press harder and go against the grain.  I showed him how to check his work for perfect smoothness.  He’d find the spots that needed extra attention and carefully precisely take care of me.  When he finished he thanked me for letting him do it.  Saying it’s something he’s wanted to do since he was in his 20’s.  That he was happy to pamper me. 

It’s getting a bit later but it’s still hot out.  We decide to attend the pool party I found out about earlier in the day.  I put on my suit and tie my hair back with a little bandana.  Put my paten leather read wedges on and tie my sarong on as a dress.  We get there and our friend has not yet arrived.  The crowd has no one we know and the band is fun.  Doing Jimmy Buffett and Johnny Cash covers and having a good time on their little stage.  He gets a Margarita and I get a cute little can of Sophia Coppola sparkling wine.  They have appetizers so I order a little nibble for us.  Our friend arrives and I’m down to my suit.  It’s a one piece black with white polka dots just a bit smaller than dime size.  There’s a little knot in the center of my breasts and it’s shaped like a tiny dress.  The skirt just barely covering my ass.  As I walk across the party to sit with our friends I am stopped three times to be complimented on my get up.  When I sit down all the girls compliment me and ask about my suit.  I turn to Tom and I just see him beaming.  He glows when people notice his girl.  It was so sweet. 

I’m on my second drink by now and no one has gotten into the pool.  I stop asking and just walk away from our group and get into the nice cool water.  Swimming arround until they notice I’m gone.  They all make their way over and Tom comes to me and puts his arms around me kissing me deeply.  I give him a big grin and put his hand into my suit.  Whispering in his ear to feel his handiwork.  So smooth.  His hand on me while being surrounded by all those people was so arousing.  I just had to kiss him again.

The band was shutting down and I had a little buzz and we were ready to continue our fun out somewhere else.  Our preggo friend was interested in joining us so I got fixed up in the bathroom.  Tom changed too.  We went to meet our friend at her house and went to a fun little bar in an out of the way area where he was not likely to know anyone.  Another gal came and met us and we had a nice time.  We upgraded the music on the juke box, did a lot of kissing.  A bit of drinking.  Tried finger steaks, onion rings and tater tots.  Yum bar food.  Tom had asked me if I would take my bra off.  I didn’t say anything just pulled it out from under my shirt and tucked it into my purse when they weren’t looking.  My T was soft and left very little to the imagination.  Tom had fun watching the other guys staring and looking away when he caught them.  We played some pool. I did pretty well on a few banks and that made me happy.  It was getting late, the bartender had poured me a horrible drink.  We let our friends know it was time for us to go with hugs and kisses we were out and on our way to bed.

Fit to be tied…..

4 Aug

He pulled out a blindfold and had ropes draped around the sides of the footboard on his bed.  With my hands he thought he’d leave me so I could get free.  I let him know I trust him completely and he tied them tight, both hands above my head.  Each foot tied at the corners of the bed.  Legs spread.  Fully dressed in a skirt and T.  He put the blind fold on my eyes and told me he would be taking pictures.  Then he hopped in the shower.  He had some old country playing.  Not my normal tunes but it had this Kill Bill, Quentin Tarantino vibe to it.  It was pretty sexy. 

When he got out the shower he made his way slowly, quietly across the room.  He kissed me suddenly, stroking my body with a heavy hand.  He reached under my skirt and grabbed my pussy in his hand and rocked against it with his palm.  He then got up on the bed and slipped his cock into my mouth.  Thrusting into me gently at first and then enough to gag me for just the right amount of time.  He’d tease me rubbing the slick head of his dick on my lips before sliding it back into my waiting mouth.  He’d step away leaving me alone.  I could tell he was taking pictures.  Pulling my shirt up exposing my breasts, biting and pinching my nipples making me squeal and then gently kissing and sucking them.  He pulled my panties down and slipped his finger into my wet waiting pussy.  My hips bucking against my restrained legs.  It all felt so good. 

He started to rub my clit with the vibrator.  Then slid it into my waiting cunt.  Fucking me with the toy while taking pictures.  He left the toy inside of me and mounted my face again.  He started to slide his stiffness farther down my throat.  When he gagged me it popped the vibe right out of me.  We both got a good laugh out of that.  He went back to work between my legs.  Smacking my inner thighs with a delightful sting.  He could see how I smiled as my body writhed from the sting.  He kissed me again hands on me firmly caressing me between my legs. 

He left me alone for a minute.  I heard him coming and felt cold steel on my thigh.  My panties had been in the way and I felt him tug on them with the knife still pressed on the outside of my leg.  I felt him slide the blade up and cut away one side.  He walked around and cut off the other, again dragging the back of the blade along my warm flesh.  This gave him the room to explore my pussy with his fingers.  Rubbing my clit as he pushed his fingers into me just rough enough to be thrilling.  Taking a minute to smack my exposed breasts.  Spreading my legs.  Driving me crazy.

I felt the bed shift as he started to claim his spot between my legs.  Helpless I could only bend my knees a little.  Only shift my hips a bit.  He rubbed my waiting pussy with his hard cock.  He had on the little cock ring vibrator.  He slowly found where he wanted to be and then shoved himself fully inside of me in one hard thrust.  He fucked me hard and deep every grind the little vibrator hitting my clit, driving me madd.  The angle was amazing with my legs low and my hips barely able to move.  I’m aching to thrust into him but can’t.  He’s kissing me and using me and it feels so good.  He tells me he can feel my pussy tightening down on him.  I moan that he’s going to make me cum.  He fucks me steady and hard and I’m rolling in waves of orgasm.  I haven’t cum like this in I don’t know how long.  Once I stop moaning he unties my hands and I sit up and touch him and kiss him.  He’s sitting on his knees stroking his cock.  I hear his breathing change and he takes the back of my head and guides my mouth around his hard on. I can feel the pressure, he is so hard.  When he starts cumming he moans as I take in every bit and working his spent shaft as his body bends and arches with the waves of pleasure.  He and I lay together and talk about how amazing it was.  What I liked and what I loved.  He shows me the pictures and tells me about how it felt for him.  We cuddled and talked for a while before thinking of getting ready for the pool party that was just starting.