Trying to stay strong….

27 Jun

So he knows I don’t believe he can ever be what I need.  Yes he’s being nice now, for the most part.  He’s tidying up the place but when we talk he still deflects, blames me.  In one breath he says he’ll do anything and when I say live some where else, get ahead, take care of yourself.  Show me I’m wrong.  He snaps he doesn’t have to show me anything.  I’ve been with him 15 years, he’s handsome, tattoed and strong.  Built like my perfect match.  Our kids adore him, our kids are smart, outgoing and amazing.  He had a big hand in that.  They lack structure, the oldest is getting a bad attitude and the youngest is defiant.  I know he needs to go but to see his pain, to hear him talk about his love for our boys, to have him tell me how beautiful I am, how he hasn’t told me how much he apricates my hard work and that he’ll love me forever.  It’s hard to stay strong.

I still have a hard time seeing life without him but I can’t see a good life with him.

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5 Responses to “Trying to stay strong….”

  1. wrongedandrighted June 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm #

    You know that H had promised me the stars, the sun and the moon recently….but given her past I cannot accept that and know that she is doing it for the wrong reasons. You have had years of broken promises, heart ache and disappointment. I honestly don’t know how you do it.

    • terriblytorn13 July 3, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

      I feel the same way, so many promises….I just can’t believe what I’m being told anymore. Thank you!

  2. dawninflux July 1, 2012 at 12:27 am #

    I think ex-f, is confused if you are a mother to three boys or two. Yikes. He is like a cuckoo in the nest. Will counseling for the kids be possible when ex-f is gone?

    • terriblytorn13 July 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm #

      Yes if needed we will find a way to get counceling. If you read my bit about my health care provider you know it’s not covered. Well my ex had wanted to go to this big box provider. With him down the road I will not be with them and I belive my choice does cover counceling.

      • dawninflux July 9, 2012 at 12:21 am #

        No, I hadn’t read that about the health care provider. I am glad that counselling is possible down the road.

        Hugs and take care ~

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