Um, yeah….

8 May

Getting rid of him is harder than I thought.  I’d be lying if I told you I haven’t had second thoughts.  Keeping my mind focused that this will always go back to the same.  This is who he is and there is just too much to fix.  We’ve grown apart.  He started off fighting for his place in my life.  Showing me how broken and depressed he is, pointing to my flaws and how I’ve helped make things this way.  This all making it easier for me to keep pushing him away.  Then he broke and started crying a lot.  Cleaning, being nice as pie…no problem hun you need to find an outfit for that fancy party go shopping don’t worry I’ve got the kids handled….lots of out of the norm stuff.

I’ve also really been trying to do well my job.  Once the shit goes down and he’s no longer my primary child care I’m going to be needing a more flexible situation at work and I intend to earn it up front. 

Again sorry about the rag tag post…my writing and reading time is way down.

7 Responses to “Um, yeah….”

  1. thewhitetrashgourmet May 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

    I hear you doing the right thing. Let’s try to catch up soon 🙂

  2. dawninflux May 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm #

    Whatever the steps forward, the possible steps backward don’t matter. Motion is winning over stagnation.

    I’m just trying to say that I am thrilled for you, and have no expectation of what you chose. So don’t worry about letting anyone down. Be happy, you deserve it.

    Hugs ~

    • terriblytorn13 May 9, 2012 at 11:16 am #

      Thank you Dawn! You are so right being in motion makes all the difference. I’m going to keep your encouraging words with me, it means a lot.
      ~Hugs back~

  3. The Hook May 9, 2012 at 5:48 am #

    At least you’re on the right path…
    Just keep going!

    • terriblytorn13 May 9, 2012 at 11:17 am #

      It feels right most of the time. Thank you Hook.
      A friend reminded me of a great movie quote, “Just keep swimming.”. I hear Dorie in my head when things get tough.

  4. cheatingwhore May 10, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    Stay strong! You can do this. And we’re here for you, whatever you choose.

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