When it rains….

27 Feb

I’m overwhelmed and sad.  Lump in my throat and eyes burning.

He did it again twice throwing my past in my face calling me names.  Calling me a low life for saying that I liked having sex and that’s why I did it often back then. 

I stopped looking for a therapist and started looking for child care.  So far I’ve found that if I go to a traditional childcare preschool it will cost as much as my mortgage payment.  Not an option.

He and my youngest got sick.  Two days later the oldest and I got it too.  Stuck together sick not wanting to look at each other.  It was miserable.

I was ill and called in sick to work, making me feel bad.  In my last review my boss said he knows I’m having relationship trouble. He said he would understand and will support me if I need to take a week or so off to get my child care and such in order.  It’s super nice and super sad that I’m that girl.

My lover still doesn’t have a plan on how he will see me.  It’s starting to make me feel pushy and needy.  I try to let him know it’s OK if we can’t see each other but I still want it and I’ll make myself available without sounding like an idiot. 

I’m good on my utilities and have had to forgo all my credit card and loan payments.  I’ve received a 1099 for my debt from buying furniture on my Macy’s card, a notice that they put a lien on my house for another debt (don’t worry I’m way underwater) and today I got a notice that another lender is going to garnish my wages.  So now my focus is shifted again to finding a bankrupcy attorney.  I knew I’d have to do it but I thought I could buy myself some more time. 

So I might lay low on my own posts and just pop by your blogs. I’m not sure right now.  Everyone that comments has such kind, helpful and thoughtful words and I really appriciate it.

 When it rains it pours.  When the sun comes out again everything will be ready to bloom.

16 Responses to “When it rains….”

  1. Gillian Colbert February 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    Stay tough … btw, I successfully filed bankruptcy on my own, no lawyer, using USA Bankruptcy’s service. Just make sure you get your credit counseling certificate ahead of time, but within 180 days of when you file.

    • terriblytorn13 February 27, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

      Thank you!
      I love the idea of filing on my own. I’ll look into the certficicate right now, great advice.

  2. thewhitetrashgourmet February 27, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    I’ll be around for you – here or via email. Believe it or not still following same lifeline.

    Take care.

    • terriblytorn13 February 27, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

      Crazy right!
      Thank you.
      I’ll have to cook come of your comfort food when it starts raining.

  3. B February 27, 2012 at 7:11 pm #

    I’m sorry you are going through this, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning in debt. Seek financial advice and get things in order for you and your family, it won’t be easy but soon enough things will be restored to order.

    • terriblytorn13 March 9, 2012 at 8:18 pm #

      Thank you I have some resourses I’m trying to tap into I think things will be looking up sooner than later

  4. lovesexandmarriage February 27, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

    **hugs** Keep your head up Torn. It does get better. **more hugs** (It’s a huggy day for me… I’ve need a few too).

  5. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress February 28, 2012 at 9:53 am #

    I’m always here if you ever want to vent. Take care of yourself. You are stronger than all this going around you. {{hugs}}

    • terriblytorn13 February 28, 2012 at 11:39 am #

      Thank you and you are too.
      It’s a tough shake for the both of us right now but we’re strong and we’ll come through even stronger.
      The offer stands for you too my friend.

  6. The Hook February 28, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    Hang in there, young lady! I know it’s dark now, but there is light peeking through the cracks.
    You’ll be bathed in light soon, I know it!

  7. LiesHurtMySanity February 29, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

    When life hands you chaos, get out the broom and beat the crap out of it.
    We all are here rooting for you.
    I’ll go get the dustpan. ~_^

    • terriblytorn13 February 29, 2012 at 5:58 pm #

      I like it! great advice
      This I can and will do.

  8. sexuallifeofawife March 8, 2012 at 8:11 am #

    You are one of the strongest women I ‘know’… I’ve missed reading you and hope that this was just one of the bad days for you… and sometimes it does shine for you…

    • terriblytorn13 March 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm #

      Thanks Sophia. I don’t know if I’ve earned it just yet but I really appreciate your kind words.

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