Aside

What’s good for the body is not always good for the mind…..

31 Jan

I’ve been fantasizing about –

My lover fucking me on the hood of my car in the city

Watching him jack off while I masturbate until he can’t resist entering me

Pleasuring a woman while he touches me

Watching him with another woman

Him pulling my hair while giving it to me from behind

Riding him in the back seat of my car

Fucking me from behind in the shower

So, needless to say, I’m fucking horny and have no one to play with.

In a moment of desperation while fighting with my fiancé I put an add up on an adult meet up sight.  Maybe to have some shameless text flirting, maybe a cup of coffee on my lunch break, just maybe to fuck.  Throwing caution to the wind and going where my hormones take me.  Well an hour after I did it it didn’t seem like that much fun.  Plus I wondered with these unusual circumstances if I’d meet anyone of substance.  So I canceled it, I did get 3 flirts, but couldn’t read them because I didn’t want to pay the $10 fee.

Recently in a phone conversation with my lover, Tom, I mentioned how I’m so fucking horny but I don’t want it from my fiancé.  He apologised and I assured him it’s not really him that’s doing it.  It’s my feelings towards my fiancé. 

Later I texted Tom this message: I’ve started thinking where can I meet a guy that I can fuck on days like today, all alone, big empty office….  Bars, adult friend finder, Ashley Madison…  All that comes to mind is I’ll meet some smarmy bastard who couldn’t hold a candle to you.  Don’t feel bad that youve ruined me for my fiancé…  Feel bad that you’ve skewed my perspective for any other men I might meet….and that you can’t come fuck me today.

It was a series of texts but it got the point across.  He sent me back the details of how he would pleasure me if he was able to come be with me while I worked all alone and it was fucking hot.  Ruined my panties for the day hot, he gets me so wet.

I’m in a strange situation.  I love him, I want him, I really like him and I know now I can never have him.  He’s not the super hot guy that you just lust after and want nothing else to do with.  Don’t get me wrong he’s handsome and has a lovely body but I like him for more than that.  Since we’ve talked so much I like him on a long-term, good friend….gosh I hate to say it… husband level….but since I know it won’t happen I struggle with why I’m doing this to myself and possibly to him.

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13 Responses to “What’s good for the body is not always good for the mind…..”

  1. BimodalTendancies January 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    As I said. You are my new favorite person.

    I have had many extramarital encounters, but only two that I would classify as “affairs”. Both were with married women who, like me, had no intention of leaving their spouses, but were dissatisfied with their sex lives. Both developed into almost a second marriage, with the lover pursuing me outside of our regular playtime for dinner takes, buying me gifts, etc. I had to them it because I find it difficult enough to maintain one relationship, much less a second that must by necessity be clandestine. My feelings were quite similar to what you describe at the end of this entry.

    • BimodalTendancies January 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

      “I had to end them”. Damnation I can’t type today.

      • terriblytorn13 January 31, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

        You’ve got me blushing again. I see why the ladies can’t resist your charm.

        I think if Tom and I were close enough for regular visits we would have fucked something up by now. It would be incredibly hard to balance him and my family life.

        Love that you can’t type straight after reading my little post

      • BimodalTendancies January 31, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

        Well, you know, the various images evoked at the beginning of the post are enough to get most people a little flustered! 😉

  2. sexuallifeofawife January 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    Its an awful feeling when you are soooo horny and you can’t fuck – especially when you do have someone in mind…

  3. lostinthearmsofdestiny January 31, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    Your fiance hid it?? Haha he’s waiting for you to want to have sex with him probably.
    When’s the last time you had sex with your fiance?
    Tom has just consumed you so much. I understand the feeling of someone so far away having so much power of you.

    • terriblytorn13 January 31, 2012 at 6:56 pm #

      Yes I think he did. It’s been maybe 3 or 4 weeks and it wasn’t exciting or satisfying…sigh…so much of my sexual pleasure has to do with my mind now. Tom is so different from the long line of loosers I’ve been with. I was shocked when a “normal”? guy liked me so much.

  4. confessionsofyourhusbandsmistress February 1, 2012 at 9:47 am #

    I understand that need that must be satisfied, but no one around to satisfy it. Have you thought about Craigslist? I know it’s not screened, but a quick option for sure.

    • terriblytorn13 February 1, 2012 at 11:34 am #

      I thought about it but I’m a chicken. My fiancé is kinda a germ-a-fobe and talks about cheaters bringing home herpes and kissing their kids and spreading it. I never would have thought about it but now that he said it, it scares me. It’s probably over the top but my kids are so little and require many kisses that I love to give them!

  5. The Hook February 1, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

    Take a cold shower, young lady! Great post – and fantasies!

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