To do it or not to do it….

5 Dec

I want to see Tom now, right now.  I want to kiss him passionately and have his arms around me all night long.  The count down to our first trip together was 55 days and that was bad.  On that trip we got to spend most of three days together.  Now the countdown is 70 days for me to see him for an hour maybe two.  No over night, no hotel room, no camping, just meeting him somewhere in a big city and hoping not to get caught for public indecency.  Believe me I don’t care where we are I’m going to get what I want from him.  I’m so horny!

Since I’ve gotten back from our camping trip I haven’t been with my fiancé.  Not for lack of trying on his part, if you consider his clumsy groping and whining for sex trying.  For a while I couldn’t even stand the idea of having sex with him.  Now it’s to the point where if I close my eyes and think about Tom maybe I’ll feel better after I get off. 

There’s the lying thing.  I hate leading him on.  If we have sex he’ll think things are getting better.  I’m not as angry at him as I was but I still don’t have the feelings like a partner should.  I still don’t have much hope for us.  Not much is changing.  My friends are telling me to be more firm, I hate working my ass off to only come home to a crappy situation but I’ve got to do something.  My current excuse to not take care of this is the Hollidays.  Maybe next year I’ll find a way to start making changes.

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4 Responses to “To do it or not to do it….”

  1. The Hook December 6, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

    You’ll have to; something has GOT to give…

    • terriblytorn13 December 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

      It sure won’t be me giving up, or giving it up as the case may be. I think…

  2. f#@*knows December 8, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

    Hey, god what are we like eh?

    I want to make light of our situations and say something stupid like lets run away!! 🙂

    I hope we both find resolutions soon!!!

    • terriblytorn13 December 8, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

      I know, right? I think you’ve got one or two up on me being’s your spouse doesn’t seem to be causing you as much grief as mine and you’ve steered away from the other woman.

      If we should run away maybe we should visit T, LOL!

      I wish you the best my friend, may you find your way soon!

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