Will this be the end?

5 Oct

In a week I’ll be in my lovers arms.  Maybe for the last time.  I’m starting to question if this trip is even a good idea.  I was so excited I missed that my dates were off.  Tom wants to take me to an amazing place he has been telling me about since we first met and I’m so excited to go with him the only problem is there is no cell service. 

I am planning to tell him I’m just not cut out for this.  That I want to be with him. I’m feeling jealous and that is weird for me. That the lowered contact hurts my confidence.  He has been a great friend.  He’s an interesting person who I love talking to.  I would love to stay in contact with him.

I still have not asked Tom much about his wife.  I wonder how they met.  How they fell in love.  Did he always have other girls on the side he fooled arround with or was there any point where it was just his wife.  His one and only.  It blows my mind he has only been in that town for 5 maybe 6 years now.  They’ve been married for three.  Doing the math makes me wonder.  I wonder if he will get board with his life there and look to move and make another life.  Maybe one closer to me.  I still can’t get the idea that maybe we can be together someday out of my head.  I think I need to though.

So my trip, with all this going on in my head you might ask why am I still going on this trip.  

  1. I’m fucking horny.
  2. I want to tell him this stuff in person.
  3. I need an adventure.  

7 Responses to “Will this be the end?”

  1. Sam October 6, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    Can I make a suggestion. I’ve been where you are. I suggest making this the last meeting between you 2. You seriously need to get your head on straight and deal with this fiance issue. Tom is married and probably will be for years to come. This will all just end in awful heartache..

    • terriblytorn13 October 6, 2011 at 11:35 am #

      I think you’re right. I’ve been thinking for a while. I need to back off. I don’t need to be distracted with so much other stuff I need to get right in my life. There’s something about me that sucks at breaking away from people. I hope I can do it. I hope we can still be friends. He’s 700 miles away there is no chance of accidentally running into each other even if we maintain a friendship. Of course one with much less contact.

      • Sam October 6, 2011 at 11:42 am #

        Once you back off and end it, hopefully things will get back in order. I know it sure helped me and my marriage… I certainly hope you can figure things out…

  2. Oh God, My Wife Is German October 7, 2011 at 10:39 am #


    • terriblytorn13 October 7, 2011 at 10:47 am #

      Yes. Kinda weird for a fly to him affair date huh?
      It is a good fit for us, and brings things arround full circle, the night we kissed we talked about the place, I asked him to bring me there.
      I’m currious is that a bad Camping! or a good Camping!

      Edit-looks like a good camping. I should have peeked at your blog before responding. 🙂

  3. The Hook October 9, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    Good luck with all three!

    • terriblytorn13 October 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

      I’m really looking forward to two of the three. I hope I have the balls to tackle number two!

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