Waiting for the perfect corndog……

21 Sep

I feel like I’m starting to come back to my senses.  Between the questions on this blog and from my friend at work I’m starting to see how far my day dreams have strayed from reality.  I can’t say I don’t love Tom any more.  He still turns me on but I know without a doubt he won’t be mine anytime soon if ever at all.  I’m embracing the part of me he has awakened.  I feel more sexy.  I have more passion in my life.  I still am trying to quardinate a trip to see Tom.  My work is flying me a few states away for training.  After the class I want to have them fly me to Tom’s state instead of mine then return home Friday like my class was all week not just the three days that it really is.  He was so excited when I told him that I could come see him on his home turf again.  When we hung out before he was really just being friendly to the pretty girl not even thinking that all this would ever happen.  I have to wait for corporate to send my request for travel plans and then I will know for sure if I can go.  

The other thing that really brought me back to reality is a recent conversation with Tom.  He had made mention when he has fooled around with other woman his worst fear is that they will say to him hey I’ll leave my husband you leave your wife so we can be together.  With me he doesn’t have that worry.  My head I’m screaming I’m that girl I want you to do it leave her and be with me!  I just laughed it off we talked about how the distance makes that nearly impossible.  Our time to talk was short so I didn’t want to bring it up only to have to get off the phone.  Before I talk to him I go over in my head how I will tell him that I ache to be with him.  I do want him to leave his wife to be with me but I know that is not the right thing with my boys and his situation.  I want to tell him just how I feel but want to still have fun with him especially on this possible up coming trip.  Now I’m trying to figure out do I blurt all this out before the possible trip to see him or wait untill after.  I am tempted to blurt it out now and show him the blog.  I have shared some posts with him but not many.  He is interested in it but has not pushed to see it.  I guess I have to feel things out.  The bottom line is no matter what a hold he has on my heart I need to back off and give it time to happen naturally if at all.  If we are never together I think I’ll be OK with that but I do value the friendship and how we turn each other on and I don’t want to loose that.  It sounds like he wants to continue to enjoy it as well.  A while back he had said we can be like fair food for each other.  It’s strangely delicious but naughty for your diet, and sometimes you crave it but you can only get it a few times a year when the fair is in a town near you.

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7 Responses to “Waiting for the perfect corndog……”

  1. sexuallifeofawife September 22, 2011 at 12:06 am #

    Hope it works out so you can see him. I wouldn’t tell him before you go – if at all… of course you want to show him how much you really feel about him – but would that scare him off? Maybe there will be a right moment… Oh god, there’s no right answer for your predicament is there?
    ps Really like the new background of your page and its layout etc lolx

    • terriblytorn13 September 22, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

      Yeah my situation is a real brain bender. I feel like I need to be 100% honest with Tom. What’s the point of having a long distance love affair if I can’t be open and honest about how I feel about him. I think I’ve got to say something I just want to do it right. The biggest risk is the possibility of being misunderstood. I believe if I say it right he’ll be flatteted. I tried to do it today and our time was cut short.

  2. The Hook September 22, 2011 at 9:16 am #

    Great work. Hope everything lines up to create a happy ending!

    • terriblytorn13 September 22, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

      Thanks Hook!

      • sexuallifeofawife September 23, 2011 at 10:11 am #

        Yes, its really true love when you can totally be honest with someone. I guess it would be nice to be completely truthful with Tom about how you want to be with him and how much you love him etc – but the fact that you’re not going to drop everything and move in with him right now because its not a realistic possibility will hopefully stop him from being freaked out or overwhelmed by your strength of feelings for him – You never know though – he might be ok with it anyway…

  3. Mom24Butchers September 25, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    I’m back…
    You could write the story of my life, somewhat. I think depending on what you want out of your trip, would determine just how open to be before you go. Personally, I’d love to be able to have that conversation in person. You will be able to see in his eyes where his head really is.
    Going to start blogging again… I’ll explain there~
    Good Luck!

    • terriblytorn13 September 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

      What perfect advice, it the trip comes together I’ll tell him then! So glad to see you’re back hope all is well.

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