Can we make a date to…..

30 Aug

I talked to Tom today.  He had to be quick because he was calling from his “real phone”.  He bought a throw away phone to talk to me so the calls will not show up on the bill since his wife pays the wireless bill.  The minutes he bought had expired but he wanted to say he loves me so he called.  Right before he called I was staring at my calendar thinking of dates.  I would love to have an entire week with him.  The only times I can have a valid excuse for leaving for leaving are weekdays.  On weekdays I can say I’m on a trip for work.  I threw out some dates.  His buddy is his cover so he said he would talk with him and let me know.  We made plans to talk again after work.  Before his kid came to visit we talked 2x’s daily almost religiously.  On my lunch and at night when I walked the dogs.  Now it’s so unpredictable.  His kid is back with his ex now, but his new work hours seem to be where we are not matching up.  Now after our meeting I am so attached to him I am having these insecure feelings when he doesn’t contact me as much as he used to.  Even though I keep thinking we need to be in contact less I still want more.  The other day I woke up craving him.  I wanted him on top of me, inside of me, trusting upward like he would pick me up with his cock.  I know weird to be so specific but everything in me wanted it just like that.  I got out my vibrator and tried to satisfy myself but it was no substitute for warm flesh.  The feeling of his hands on me.  Him kissing me, enjoying me.  Before Tom and I had sex I could be horny for him and fuck my fiancé imaging it was Tom.  Now it’s so different it doesn’t work.  We’ve only had sex two times since I’ve returned from my trip with Tom.  Though I keep thinking I need to try to work things out with my fiancé I can’t find those sexy feelings I need to want him.  Because of his surgery (back in late 2010) he can’t be on top of me.  The lack of ability has really put a damper on things as well.  He also has gotten bigger since surgery so when I am on top it’s hard to work it.  When I think about sex I think about Tom and pleasure myself.  I have several videos of Tom jerking off (what can I say I’m weird).  I love watching his meaty cock in his hands.  I get wet just thinking about it.  I used by vibrator and came hard 3x’s while my fiancé went to run errands and the kids were napping.  I also got a shit ton of housework done.  I still have not found the right balance to function normally and still have Tom be as much as a part of my life as possible under the circumstances.

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