Crying on my Birthday…..

17 Aug

This morning I woke up the sound of rustling in my kitchen.  I thought that my littlest was climbing into the cupboards looking for sweets.  I looked to the side to see if my fiancé was going to handle it this time since it is my birthday.  He wasn’t there.  I realized that he was making breakfast for me.  I ate with the family and got ready for work.  Before I left he asked what I had planned for lunch.  I had planned to hit the driving range.  He pushed that I should have lunch with the family.  I told him I would.  The kids would be happy to have lunch with me on my birthday.  So lunch time rolls around and they don’t have anything planed.  We go to a taqueria and the littles is being a problem.  It’s my job to keep him under control.  We go to the parking lot and the little one’s greasy hand slipped away from me.  We were 5 feet from the car and he was going directly to it.  It didn’t worry me because we were so close to my fiancé and the car.  Well it backfired as I was yelling my kids name my fiancé opened the car door right into my kids face.  He cried so hard.  It was so sad.  I was flustered.  I was being yelled at and all I wanted to do was comfort my baby.  He kept yelling at me.  Calling me names.  Filling the car with his horrible words.  My older son tried to interrupt his rant.  Saying Daddy, Daddy.  My fiancé didnt respond.  When he did respond he started yelling what.  He yelled it over and over untill I could hear the words echo out on the streets.  We were driving as he was doing this.  I finally stopped my responding to him and focused on my crying children.  It breaks my heart he doesn’t have the sence to try to make something better instead of worse.  I have plans to meet some family and friends tonight for a show.  I asked they have some snacks and meet me there so we can enjoy the show.  He lets me know that’s not what he wants to do.  That’s two times today he ask me what I want to do and then tells me no.

What has cheered me up is my lovely Tom.  Telling me how happy he wants to make me.  That he would love to spend my birthday with me.  Sent me a picture of him in his kitchen cooking saying he would like to to be cooking for me.  He just got back from another camping trip.  I love how he takes these trips on a whim.  I came back to work and it’s kept me busy.  All I can think about is how much I want to run away with my lover.  Just have him hold me as we look up into the stars.


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